You cannot turn on the old idiot box these days without stumbling across the some kind of crap reality show. From people trying to be the "TopChef" from ohers trying to extend their 15 minutes of fame from one of those MTV shows by running the "Gauntlet." Not sure how these people can continue to escape the actual real world by fighting each other in ridiculous events for the right to drive away in a brand new Saturn, but i digress.

On a similar note, i have come up with some shows that I think could make it on some of these networks, and of course make me a ton of money, so that I could buy my way onto the Evil team and defeat those Real World andRoad Rulers.

Taking a Toll: Life in the Booth: Everyone who has ever driven on a toll road has always said the same thing after paying the toll, "Do you know how much money those peopele make in a fucking hour?" Everyone thinks that the easiest job in the history of modrn transportation is a toll taker, because you just sit there and take money. Well I have news for you people, it is not that easy. First of all, you stand in a box and watch cars drive by all day. Now what if you did not drive a car? Wouldn't it be something that is basically a slap in the face because you cannot drive your car, and those sons of bitches are rubbing it in that they have vehicles? Also, you have to be exposed to people while they are driving, which means you get to see people diving without pants,which is never fun. Plus you need to o math to make change and stuff, and fuck that, because that sucks. So a show about the life of a toll taker could open up a brand new door into the world of th guy that "gets paid a ton of fucking money to stand there."

Go Get Lost: There are a few shows in which a person or teams of people need to navigate their way to a certain destination. Thing is, with all these new fangled gadgets, like that internet thing, it is not all that hard to find some place. There is a website called MapQuest even, which gives you directions to any address you enter in. How is that hard? Type and address, make a few turns, and boom, you are there in time for dinner. This show would salute the people that know how to get aay from everything. Instead of trying to race others to a locationm these people need to get lost. Make it so that no one can find you, just like that son of a bitch Waldo. I hate that smug asshole with his stripped shirt and stupid glasses, always hanging out in areas that are filled with sady people. The good part about this show fom th network side, is that if the person is really good at the game, you will not need to pay them the winners prize, because you will not know where the hell they are.

Dating on a Long Ride: A laundry list of dating shows has been created through the years of television, from games that pit couples against each other, to a show with Chuck Woolery that made people go on dates and then bash each other in an intimate studio setting, or go out to a baseball game and have the date taped(I love the RedSox and everything, but fucking come on, a dating show at the ballpark? Get the fuck outta here). The thing is, anyone can walk their way through two or three hours of a date, especially when you go to a movie or a crowded restaurant. Not feeling the conversation, challenge her to shots, and just get totally bombed together…you do not have to pay me for these tips kids, i offer them for free. I think the best way to get to know somone, is to be stuck in a car with them for hours on end. Instead of sending these people to dinner at a nice restaurant, stick them in a 1995 Honda Accord, with some bottled water, Combos, and Red Bull, and send them off with a full tank of gas. They are now supposed to drive the car until they run out of gas. This will force the people to be wihin 4 feet of each other for a couple of hours, without any kind of distraction or rescue from the others company.

Let it Ride: People gamble and the cameras catchtheir reactions when they win and the dvestation when they lose. Pretty self explanatory here how this is going to be entertaining, but even though you know people might win or lose, it is fun to see people wearing suits and hats and screaming at a horse or a dog to run faster. Oh yeah, that is a rule, you always need to wear suits to a track, and the ladies need hats and heels. Anything less and you will get beaten by the security guards named Moose and Rocco.