:::Jim Grimly, student, knocks on the door of Mr. Happy Helper, career guidance counselor:::

Mr. H.H.: Helloooo! Bonjour! Hola, my young friend. Enter if you dare. Haha, just kidding, come on inside dude.

Jim: Mr. Happy Helper, I have a problem.

Mr. H.H.: Jimmy! Or do you go by Jim?

Jim: Well—

Mr. H.H: How about Jimbo? Or J-town? It's the J-man! Nah, how about I just call you J?

:::Quickly adjusts white butler's gloves on his hands:::

Mr. H.H.: [In an cockney accent] And how may I be of service to you today, govna? Need your chimney swept? Or maybe your driveway cobblestones spit and polished?

Jim: Uhh, no. I've been depressed lately.

Mr. H.H.: Oh, having some trouble with the ladies I see?

:::Puts on wig, assumes 'The Graduate' pose on desk:::

Mr. H.H.: Tell me now, Jay, do you find me sexy?