The newest and nerdiest form of entertainment for me is (in most men's eyes) neither nerdy nor new, so I'm a liar. A dirty, pale, fat (but not too fat, but like enough that people are sort of worried that I've been drinking too much beer, and they have told me about a nice gym with this trainer who's really helpful and not too domineering but sometimes racist) liar. But I'm trying to be honest. And the honest truth is, when I first bought the original Tomb Raider I didn't care about the sweet puzzles, graphics, or dinosaurs you get to gun down, but rather, all that attracted my attention was the possibility that I could see Lara Croft's breasts using one of a billion codes I could readily find on the internet. But which was was right? I needed to know, and with perseverance I finally found the correct code for seeing Lara Croft naked. This code still works in Tomb Raider: Legend. Here is how I did it:

I checked numerous forums for days hearing the same promises. Here is a print-out of one that led me to the real code. I saved it for commemorative purposes:

Subject: See Laura Crofts Tits (for serious this one works)

Angelcross 227: You can’t have a video game rated Teen 13+ that has a pair of ta-tas in it. That’s so not logical!

Supreme12: I’ve been looking all over for this. Does anyone have it?

DoggstyleBoyZZ: Have no fear gentlemen in cybespace! I totally know how to do it! Right when the T-Rex comes out, you hit D,D,U, R, O, T, X and she totally rips off her shirt for like a second before the dinosaur eats her. BUT IT’S totally worth it! Titties!

Angel 227: Does anyone have Crash Bandicoot cheats here?

Supreme 12: Who the fck rote that? That’s soooooooooooooo gay. OMG, Gay. I hate Crash Bandicoot

Frazzled RCKS1: Bandicoot is definitely the gayest game.

Supreme12: Seriously, I need to see the tits right now!

FrazzledRCKS1: My friend sent me a link to another forum that has the cheat (for Tits not “coot”).

Supreme12: Thanks Dude.

Frazzled RCKS1: Search Croft Tomb boobies/forum

Angel 227: u r the gay one. Crash is sweet and Lara Croft has square boobs!

Frazzled RCKS1: STOPPP. OMG, u suck the most. LOL.

So I spent a few minutes searching the page, until I knew I had found it. Now, the internet works the same way a street festival does where certain interests are linked with other interests. PETA and the war in Iraq. But since the internet isn’t used for stupid things like social activism, but instead it’s filled with distractions for an impressionable boy like me: like, If you want Lara Croft’s tits, you should totally get a picture of J-Lo’s Titties! But I didn’t fall for it! And as a result I found the real cheat. And I saved the file and kept it until now. Here it is:

Posted 3:14 am by CrazzEBNS13:
As most of you may have heard, there is in fact a way to see Lara Croft’s Breasts in the game Tomb Raider. There is no cheat for her to take off her shirt at the swimming pool, as some have rumored, but an actual glitch that the programmers forgot to fix when creating the game. If you do this correctly, Lara will be topless the entire time you play. First, turn the Playstation on with a controller in either slot. Then just as the PS logo pops up on the screen, hit open so you see the disk is still spinning. Then shove your dick in the playstation and slam the top down and have a big jizz fest with yourself! Then have your mom come in and jizz all over the tv and jizz on your face. And da der daaaaaaaa……Jizz, Jizz!