What To Expect From College, According To National Lampoon Movies
- The president of the student government will have actual power.
- Famous bands will often show up and play at random house parties.
- The dean is evil, as is his wormy assistant.
- There's a black guy. One black guy. And guess what? He's your buddy.
- Failing a class has absolutely no consequences.
- Your dorm room will have the following amenities: a private bedroom, a balcony, a hot tub, naked women and enough room to move around.
- An Indian kid with a funny accent will make your acquaintance and, eventually, help you out of a jam.
- You'll never see, or hear from, your parents. The same goes for your friends from home.
- Your roommate's younger sister will be super hot, totally into you, but way off limits.
- RA? What RA? Feel free to spark up that huge bong sitting in plain sight on your coffee table!
- One frat on campus will be exclusively for rich assholes, all of whom hate you and your ragamuffin friends.
- The only girl you really like will be dating either the captain of the football team, a staunch young republican or the president of the above mentioned fraternity.
- At some point you're going to have make a grand gesture in front of the entire school to save your frat and win back the heart of the girl who has mistaken you for an asshole thanks to a series of comic mishaps.
- You'll win in the end. And then there will be a big party.
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