Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
What To Expect From College, According To National Lampoon Movies
October 1, 2006
The president of the student government will have actual power.
Famous bands will often show up and play at random house parties.
The dean is evil, as is his wormy assistant.
There's a black guy. One black guy. And guess what? He's your buddy.
Failing a class has absolutely no consequences.
Your dorm room will have the following amenities: a private bedroom, a balcony, a hot tub, naked women and enough room to move around.
An Indian kid with a funny accent will make your acquaintance and, eventually, help you out of a jam.
You'll never see, or hear from, your parents. The same goes for your friends from home.
Your roommate's younger sister will be super hot, totally into you, but way off limits.
RA? What RA? Feel free to spark up that huge bong sitting in plain sight on your coffee table!
One frat on campus will be exclusively for rich assholes, all of whom hate you and your ragamuffin friends.
The only girl you
like will be dating either the captain of the football team, a staunch young republican or the president of the above mentioned fraternity.
At some point you're going to have make a grand gesture in front of the entire school to save your frat
win back the heart of the girl who has mistaken you for an asshole thanks to a series of comic mishaps.
You'll win in the end. And then there will be a big party.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.