I'm sure many of you read the title of this article and thought that this was going to be a story about a guy that says something creepy and stupid to an unsuspecting young lass. Damn, are you wrong!!! I bet you are the stupidest person ever for thinking something so moronic! In fact this is an article on why this is the best pick-up line ever to use on a girl. And the first reason is"
1) It let's the young female know that you are interested!Girls are always talking about how they never know what guys are thinking. If you say this to a girl she will know what you are thinking: Can you hurry up and reject me so that I can go back to my room and masturbate to the pictures of you and your friends at your Spring Formal? No longer will a girl have to wonder about your level of creepiness, you just told her you're out of this world creepy in less than one minute.
2) She'll know you did your research!Research is always stressed so much in school, but it is always the dirty little secret of the social world. When you let her know that you recognize her from an internet social community website, she will know that you spend hours on the site searching for that special someone to absolutely creep the fuck out of. You should also remind the young dame that when she marked the box under "Looking for" with "Whatever I Can Get" that she can get you anytime. Try to steer clear of mentioning "Random Play" because I don't think it counts as random if you waited in the lobby of her dorm for so long your iPod ran out of batteries. Then again, she doesn't know that. Fine, use it, but it's a little deceptive.
3) She'll know you think she's cute!Yes, because you stated that in the body of the pick-up line. Fellas, here is something you need to know about the women: They love compliments and are relatively vain. Even this pick-up line is sure to induce a female to make that noise they make when they see a puppy trying to run through the snow, but it's too small and can barely make it. Then you pick it up and IT'S SHIVERING" Awwwww. In this case the awwww will only be a distraction while she's removing the safety from her pepper spray. In between the time the safety is off and your eyes are on fire is the window of time for you to make the magic happen. I call it the magic time.
4) She'll know that, on some level, you know someone that knows someone that knows someone that she knows!This thought will comfort her because everyone knows that the way to creep around on Facebook is to look at all of your friends, then look at some of their friends, and so on and so on until five hours have passed and you have wicked dry-mouth and fucking Carson Daly is on TV!! And I know how much you hate Carson Daly!!! Anyway, this thought will be comforting to the little miss because if you can't trust that random dude that you met at a house party first semester's former classmate's childhood friend's roommate, who can you trust Yes, she will feel secure with you.
5) She'll know that it is a distinct possibility that you might share the same superficial interests!This is key when sealing the deal, you want her to think that you actually like all the stupid shit that she raves about. Make sure that you don't say something like, "What? You like Yellowcard and O.A.R.? I pretend to like Yellowcard and O.A.R. so I can get to second base with females of your ilk at parties on Thursday through Saturday night!" What you want to do is make a passing comment about how, even though it is REALLY embarrassing to admit, you can't miss an episode of "Laguna" or The OC. This will either make or break you because she'll either see you as someone she has a lot in common with and can relate to or the complete fraud of a pussy you are. So, it's a coin flip.
Now that you are aware of all the benefits that this pick-up line has to offer, I challenge you, the male readers of CH.com, to actually say this to a little lady next time that you recognize a girl from the stalker-central social network Facebook. You know that you do, and let's be honest whatever you're doing now isn't working. You're practically keeping Puffs tissues in business, so try this line for something new you pathetic coward.