Most of you have been in school for about a month. You've gone out to a decent amount of parties, met a good number of people and have had a pretty awesome time. You've been doing so much shit everyday that you've forgot to do some basics. Here are the things you still haven't done, but plan on doing when you get the chance

You still haven't"

  • Unpacked all your stuff
  • Bought notebooks, pens, a backpack or textbooks
  • Called your mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, siblings, or anyone remotely related to you
  • Showered with a bar of soap
  • Cut your fingernails or toenails
  • Dropped that Chemistry class
  • Dropped that Biology class
  • Added that "Pornography in the 20th Century" class
  • Had a solid shit
  • Wiped your ass
  • Gone to Wal-Mart to get Preparation H
  • E-mailed your professor about missing the first month of classes
  • Sent your girlfriend from home pictures of your dorm room.
  • Gone to the gym to get super buff like you planned
  • Switched from a double premed/math major to communications
  • Banged a girl
  • Eaten" " " " ..pussy!
  • Cleaned your bathroom, dorm room, or yourself
  • Changed your sheets
  • Done a load of laundry
  • Realized how much shit your mom actually did for you back home" but still don't call her to tell her
  • Prematurely ejaculated onto a really fat girl named Tina with the kankles and tits the size of your friend Ryan's head and who's the roommate of that hot girl who sits next to you in Intro to Psych class" now I know you still haven't done that.