Most of you have been in school for about a month. You've gone out to a decent amount of parties, met a good number of people and have had a pretty awesome time. You've been doing so much shit everyday that you've forgot to do some basics. Here are the things you still haven't done, but plan on doing when you get the chance
You still haven't"
Unpacked all your stuff
Bought notebooks, pens, a backpack or textbooks
Called your mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, siblings, or anyone remotely related to you
Showered with a bar of soap
Cut your fingernails or toenails
Dropped that Chemistry class
Dropped that Biology class
Added that "Pornography in the 20th Century" class
Had a solid shit
Wiped your ass
Gone to Wal-Mart to get Preparation H
E-mailed your professor about missing the first month of classes
Sent your girlfriend from home pictures of your dorm room.
Gone to the gym to get super buff like you planned
Switched from a double premed/math major to communications
Banged a girl
Eaten" " " " ..pussy!
Cleaned your bathroom, dorm room, or yourself
Changed your sheets
Done a load of laundry
Realized how much shit your mom actually did for you back home" but still don't call her to tell her
Prematurely ejaculated onto a really fat girl named Tina with the kankles and tits the size of your friend Ryan's head and who's the roommate of that hot girl who sits next to you in Intro to Psych class" now I know you still haven't done that.