One minute to go in class and you're watching the clock slowly tick off the seconds. Your professor is wrapping up his lecture when he utters the four most dangerous words to any nap-loving college student: "Are there any questions?" Your eyes scan the room, waiting to see if anyone dare raise his hand. "It's cool," you assure yourself, "if anyone does have a question they'll do the sensible thing and ask the professor personally after class so everyone else can leave." But you're wrong. You're always wrong.

From the front of the room an arm shoots up in the air, fingers slowly wiggling. You've seen that arm before; it's the same arm that kept you ten minutes late last Wednesday when it wanted to review the properties of solar flares "just one more time." It's the same arm that made you miss the start of your whiffle ball practice because it simply had to discuss its opinion regarding some minutely contentious point your professor made half an hour before. Yes, that arm is the worst arm to see in any college classroom because it belongs to the Kid Who Asks Questions At The End Of Class!

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Keeping you late after class isn't the last thing this asshole will do to annoy you. He is also incapable of withholding his personal opinion from anything he says. Look out for these "buzz phrases" and prepare for a tidal wave of asinine bullshit to wash over your entire classroom.

  • According to the Bible…
  • Well, my mother always says" "
  • In my "'Gender and Equality' class we learned that" "
  • I was watching The 700 Club last night…
  • and
  • Well excuse me for being the only one who disagrees, but…
  • But perhaps the worst thing of all is how, in an effort to kiss as much ass as possible, this curious classmate will often remind the professor of assigned work when he has failed to mention it.

    "Um, it says on the syllabus that we have to read pages 112-325 for next class. Do you still want us to do that?"

    Awful.