Wanted: male, quiet, 3BR/2BA,
1 mile from campus, must bring Wii

Wanted: female, pro-pina colada,
poor umbrella habits,not into Yoda,
must have entire brain, email RupertHolmes@escape.com

Wanted: male, popped collar,
no chipping in for beer, cockblocker,
call 414-IM-AN-ASSHOLE

Wanted: illiterate roommate,
send resume to 114 University Ave.

Wanted: female, 18-19, sporty, fit, hot, supple, bosomy,
send audition video to Frank@gmail.com

Wanted: female, doesn’t cheat,
not a bitch,won’t whore herself out,
email Jake at J&B4Eva@aol.com

Wanted: male, big penis, not a wuss,
won’t cry during A Walk to Remember,
email Becky at J&B4Eva@aol.com

Wanted: friends, callGene 904-6527