Every day random things happen, things you might tell people you know. These things are not major events or anything, just day to day occurrences. Many of these instances result in one of your friends saying the words, "Welcome to college." At which point you should hit them in the face. Here are a few examples:


  • You wake up next to a girl with more acne than your 13 year old brother.
  • You pound warm beer all night in order to "live it up" but end up passing out on a couch at your friend's apartment, and pissing yourself.
  • You call your dad to ask for money and he pretends you have the wrong number.
  • You try to do laundry but discover that not only do you not know how to use the machines, but you forgot your detergent up in your room.
  • You study all week for a big test, and so decide to reward yourself with a few beers the night before. You wake up the next afternoon.
  • You meet an awesome girl at a party and somehow convince her to come back to your room with you, when you open the door you find your roommate also getting with someone (fat chick). It doesn't seem likely, but whenever you need to use your room to get ass, your roommate will be there first. (With a fat chick)
  • You completely overcook a bag of popcorn in your microwave, you eat it anyway.
  • Your lap-top is all fucked up.
  • When your main towel gets gross you throw it in your hamper, when your backup towel get gross you switch it out of the hamper for the original, the process continues for two months.
  • You try so hard for every last bit of toothpaste in the tube that you cut your hands.
  • You poop in the middle of the night because it's the only time you can find the solitude that makes pooping the amazing experience that it is.
  • That's just a few, keep an eye out, and your fists clenched. Wait- did you just waste two minutes reading this article instead of writing your biology lab? Welcome to college!