Well, Florida actually lost, Vanderbilt actually won, and Oregon actually found a way to make their jersey's less appealing. Here is everything else:

1. Ohio State (63) – OSU v. Michigan on Nov. 18 is going to be just like OSU v. Texas only actually entertaining.

2. Michigan – The Wolverines haven't looked this good since a young idealistic Gerald Ford played center in the undefeated 1932 season. What I'm trying to say here is, vote Michigan center Mark Bihl for President. 3. USC – How can a team keep winning, yet continuously look worse? 4. West Virginia (2) – Will somebody please beat West Virginia so these two first place voters can find another team to root for. 5. Texas – I bet Texas is starting to regret scheduling that Ohio State game right about now. 6. Louisville – Louisville is the best football team in Kentucky right now. Though Milbrooke Elementary in Hopkinsville is second, so that's not saying much. 7. Tennessee – Tennessee is 5-0 this season when rushing for positive yardage in a game. I hate to second guess their coach, but I would just focus on running forwards… 8. Auburn – Auburn's victory over Florida is making Arkansas' victory over Auburn look extra good, thus making USC's victory over Arkansas look really extra good, thus ruining Auburn's BCS ranking. The Tigers really dropped the ball on that one. 9. Florida – Let me get this straight, the black quarterback is for passing, and the white one is for running? No wonder Florida lost. 10.Notre Dame – Charlie Weiss spent the bye week going back to school to show solidarity for his troubled son, and learned that money can't buy you a good education. Then he coached an all girls soccer team lead by none other than Jonathan Brandis. 11.California – Cal hadn't won in Pullman in over 27 years. Though if you've been to Pullman, you'll notice that everybody is a loser. 12.Clemson – The Tigers scored 9 touchdowns on Saturday, but no field goals. You call that practicing your kicking game? There are no moral losses, but this is as close as it gets 13.Georgia Tech – Yellow Jackets survived the upset of the year by holding off Maryland at home. That being said, do you think their players wear yellow jackets, or do they think they make a conscious effort not to because people will make obvious jokes? 14.LSU – The Tigers can slaughter horrible teams, but always lose to good ones. Solution: Join Sun Belt Conference. 15.Arkansas – (See Clemson) 16.Oregon – The Ducks beat UCLA 30-20 though UCLA played the first half blinded by the light emitting from Oregon's entirely highliter yellow jerseys. 17. Nebraska – Cornhuskers have a runningback named Marlon Lucky. If he were really lucky, would he really be named after a Wayans brother? 18. Boise State – Though I haven't done the math, I'm fairly certain Boise State has won its last 74 games. 19. Rutgers – I'm starting to get pretty scared that Rutgers will accidentally make it into the National Championship Game. 20. Oklahoma – Adrian Peterson broke his collarbone and will be out for the season. Bob Stoops blames the referees. 21. Wisconsin – What you know: P.J. Hill is only going to get better. What you don't know: P.J. stands for Pajama Josephine. 22. Boston College – The Eagles have beaten two ranked teams this year (Clemson and Virginia Tech) and because of drunken AP voters have a chance at another one later this year (Wake Forest.) 23. Texas A&M – The Aggies end the season with Oklahoma, Nebraska and Texas. But they are battle tested, having openned the season with Citadel, Louisiana-Lafayette, and Army. Gulp. 24. Missouri – If safeties counted for 10 points instead of 2 (like I suggested) Missouri would have beaten Texas A&M. Oh well. 25. Wake Forest – Wake Forest is so bad, having them in the top 25 is like having Rutgers in the top 20. Wait a minute…