Is it time to Switch to a Novelty T-shirt?
  • Pestered by pesky "dignity"?
  • Are you tired of having a sensible wardrobe populated with plain t-shirts and crisp, clean button-ups?
  • Do you like groan-inducing puns or jokes that garner a single laugh?
  • Remember that one thing from the 80's? Do ya? With the guy and the song? Remember?
  • Do you enjoy nostalgia that even a Bedford Avenue hipster would dismiss as "too kitschy"?
  • Do you want people to know that you are, in fact, with Stupid?
  • Is the idea of rapidly outdated pop-culture references appealing to you?

And most importantly:
  • Do you want to be the dude that no one makes eye contact with? The guy that people avoid in the hallway, for fear of having to talk to you?
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If you answered 'yes' to one or more questions, it's time to talk to your doctor
about Novelty T-Shirts.

Slipped over the body through patented "sleeves" and "neckhole", it immediately relieves you of any back-cramping 'dignity' and lets people know that, no, it's not going to suck itself! Yes, you'll drink until she's cute! And yes, Bush is a Fascist dictator hellbent on brainwashing us and eating our souls!

Novelty Shirts: Because Everything's Funnier When It's Printed on Poly-Cotton Blend.