In College, the line between "cool" and "sad" is very blurry. Often times, what seperates something awesome from something depressing is merely semantics, or word choice. Check it out:
Cool: Yeah, I totally failed that test.Sad: Yup, I got a 34%. That's my third F in this course.
Cool: I drink like, forty beers a day, it's pretty bad, haha.Sad: I force myself to mass consume an inhumane amount of alcohol. Its borderline sadistic and extremely unhealthy. I'm very near death on a nightly basis.
Cool: Dude, I haven't even been to like, one class this semester.Sad: I haven't attended a single class, not even orientation. I'm certain I've been dropped as a full time student, and to make matters worse, my father had to take an extra job to pay for out of state tuition.
Cool: Whatever, I'm just gonna go home and jerk off.Sad: My penis is chafed from over-masturbation and I'm clinically depressed.
Cool: Dude, only faggots use condoms.Sad: Around here, homosexuals are the only people who practice safe sex, everybody else uses, at best, the pull out method. Nearly half of the female student population have contracted a sexually transmitted disease and over two thirds are currently pregnant. Also, I'm homophobic.
Cool: I haven't gotten laid in ten weeks I'm like a virgin or something.Sad: I know absolutely nothing about anatomy, and even less than that about what words mean in general. My IQ is near 35, though I've never had the attention span to actually complete the examination. You can only imagine how difficult it is to convince somebody to sleep with me.
Cool: I'm never going to graduate.Sad: I'm past deadline for declaring a major and I'm several courses short of the minimum quota. My friends are all going to go through a beautiful ceremony without me and even worse, I don't have the guts to tell my parents who already bought their plane tickets. I bought a cap and gown on eBay but its a different shade of black I just realized.
Cool: I'm gonna fucking kill my roommate, I swear.Sad: When my roommate falls asleep tonight I'm going to drug him with a gauze soaked in ether that I stole from my Bio lab. As he slips away into, what his body believes is temporary unconsciousness, I'm going to make slight incisions into his jugular and aorta. In order to minimize chaos, I'm going to cover the body in egyptian cotton towels to soak maximum blood in a minimum time. At this point I'm quite certain he will bleed to death peacefully. His family will miss him, but at least I won't have to listen to him playing counter strike anymore. I'm delusional and extremely selfish.