At college, where I am constantly surrounded by students who have too many opinions, I have inevitably come across kids that rub me the wrong way. I've realized that most of these annoyances can be categorized into specific 'types' of college students, and I've listed them here. Chances are that you somehow fit into one or more of these types. This doesn't mean I hate you and that we can never hang out sometime and have fun and give each other high fives and stuff. In fact, most of the following types have been inspired by my roommates. So in no particular order:

1. The person who sits in the chair next to me in lecture even though there are like, 75 empty seats still left.

Listen, I don't even know you. We aren't speaking to each other, so why the close proximity? Now I only have 1.5 arm rests to utilize. I could be all spread out right now but instead we keep having awkward arm contact. Also, you keep breathing on me and you sniffle too much.

2.The guys that grow crazy facial hair as a statement.

These are the guys that sport a ridiculous beard in order to prove that they are 'free' and 'independent' thinkers. You'll see these dudes playing ultimate frisbee on the quad and then go sip on a Grande Pumpkin Spice Frappuccino at Starbucks (even though this company is the epitome of the very Corporate America that they are trying to fight). Now I am not against facial hair. It's just that beards are acceptable in only two circumstances: 1) you are too lazy to shave, or in very rare instances, 2) you are such a badass that you can do whatever you want and it will still be sweet (Maximus, Dumbledore, that crazy red headed guy from Braveheart, Santa Claus, etc.)

3.The guy who brags about cutting class.

I really don't care that you had three classes today and skipped them all. You need to realize that cutting class in college is not a revolutionary concept, and people are not going to be impressed by how badass you were for sleeping in. The true badasses are the guys who cut classes daily without even realizing it.

4.The guy who says 'badass' all the time.

I don't know why I just used that term three times in the last two paragraphs. I don't like it, and I'm embarrassed for myself.

5.The kid who won't stop trashing the city/state in which his college is located.

As a native Bostonian who also goes to college in the same city, nothing gets me more pissed than hearing out-of-towners rip on my city. I'm sorry it's too cold for you here and that strangers don't perform random acts of kindness on the street, but keep in mind that you chose to come here when you could've just as easily stayed in California and continued your tanning and Jamba Juice drinking at a different college. Conversely, I'm sure students at USC are sick of hearing native New Englanders talk about the Red Sox, clam chowda and rotaries.

6.The girl who uses too many abbreviations when she talks.

Someone said this to me the other day: "So I was talking to my BFF, then I realized this guy was like legit listening in on my convo, and I was like, WTF? So I go, 'T.O, are you snooping?' and he was like, 'Obvi.'" Please stop using so many abbrev.


7.The guy running for student government.

So if you get elected you think you can extend library hours? Talk to me about widening our school's server bandwidth so I can finally play some Halo online without lag, and maybe then I'll listen to you. But I'll probably vote for you anyway since clearly you care about student issues and not about building your resume.


8.The loud typer.

Seriously, chill out. I don't mind if you bring your laptop to lecture, especially if I can look over your shoulder and watch some videos of guys falling down stairs or read some of your personal emails. But I can't stand it when you sit there and type every single world that comes out of the professor's mouth. It makes me want to take your computer and smash it over your head with the same intensity and determination that you smash those keys with your fingers.

9.The girl who makes a face at me in line at the dining hall when she sees me pile some meat onto my plate.

If you don't want to eat meat, it's your choice and I respect that. But don't try to make me feel guilty for eating this delicious animal. So stop looking at me like after I eat these steaks I'm going to try to eat you as well.

10.The girl who walks too slowly in front of me.

I know you are 20 minutes early for class, but you have to understand that I am 40 minutes late to class. And it's an exam. I would try to pass you, but you've got me blocked by four other freshmen girls in a line walking equally as slow, chatting about last nights episode of Grey's Anatomy. Stop focusing so much on not spilling your Nalgene bottle and pick up the pace.