Having trouble meeting girls at parties? In that case, I suggest actually going to parties. But if you do go to parties, and week by week you find yourself with the same fat chick, and she finds herself with the same fat guy, then here are some other places that might help your game, fatty.

1) Laundry Room – This is probably one of the easiest places to pick up girls on the whole campus. First of all, considering your shitty lifestyle, you can have no pants and have an excuse. As long as you're willing to make small talk (which includes not talking about her panties as small as they may be) you should be good. Also, I can suggest putting away your Family Guy boxers. "It was like that time I was in the laundry room and that girl wouldn't talk to me" " (Cue hilarious flashback)

2) Health Center- This one works conditionally. Of course, it really depends on what you're being treated for. Anything sexually transmitted or ending in -idia is a red light. Depression from her dead cat is usually a better bet. Congrats, you're going to hell, but Satan knows you've got game.

3) Girl's Bathroom – Ok, this one is going to take balls. And the tucking back of said balls. This one really hasn't been tried yet, but there's plenty of logic to it. I mean, girls might admire the self-confidence you have. And if not, then just convince yourself you're in the lesbian dorm. They wouldn't appreciate a real man like you anyway.

So there you go. The list might not be all that lengthy, or useful for that matter, but these are mere suggestions. Just note the omissions from this list: Anime Club, Comedy Club, and pretty much any other club that doesn't have strobe lights and beer. Peace.