: I seem to be short one syllabus, can anybody just look on with their neighbor?Kid
: Ey! Hey! You gotta talk to my friend, his dad looks JUST LIKE YOU
!!!! Here call him. Take a video picture or whatever the hell you do.Professor
: What is the commotion young man?Kid
: All right, brb dude, whatever.
: Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude.Roommate
: Stop! I'm trying to study. Seriously, you smell.Kid
: Ahahahhaha! I just upper decked this kid's toilet, dude.Roommate
: What!? That's our only bathroom! Will you clean it up? Kate's coming over to study.Kid
: You can do so much better than her
forget her. Seriously. You're such a good guy.
On a DateCindy
: Hey. Thanks for taking me here. I've actually had a lot of fun.Kid
!!!! Somebody please sing the theme song from Zelda. All I can hear is Mario Bros. Right now. I'm going crazy. Hey, sing it!Cindy
: Ugh, get off me you creep.Kid
: Nah nah, that's not it. I think it starts with a melody.
At Family DinnerMother
: How is this semester treating you, honey?Kid
: Oh my god. Lets get fucking pizza. Or something, like a fucking giant pepperoni. So good!Father
: Apologize to your mother.Kid
: Apologize to my dick.Father
: I have no son.
At a Stand Up Comedy ClubComedian
: I think they are just toilet paper! Wouldn't that be funny? If they were just like "Hey Osama! I need to wipe my ass!" "Just use your turban, Mohammad!" Kid
: Haha, this kid gets it.