Doug"Substance Abuse, Gun Control, & Racism"
then Patti ran to the sink to spit it out!Skeeter Valentine: Haha, no way man. Guess you gave Patti some Mayonnaise.Doug: Gross man.Skeeter: You "Skeet, skeet, skeet" all over?Doug: That's like your new catchphrase dude.Skeeter: Skeet, skeet, skeet!Doug: Better than that gay honking shit.
(pause. Doug lights up)Doug: Man, I been meaning to ask you something for the longest time. Skeeter: What's that?Doug: What're you supposed to be?Skeeter: (takes joint from Doug and inhales) Whatdyu mean?Doug: Are you like
a black dude? I mean I don't have a problem, but like are you?Skeeter: (pulls a gun out) You just crossed the line cracker!!!(Doug pees his pants and starts crying" then Skeeter just starts laughing)Doug: Dude, not cool.Skeeter: Don't worry, the safety's on.Doug: Why do you carry that shit on you?Porkchop comes running into the room and Skeeter, startled, pulls the triggerSkeeter/Doug: Ohhhhhhhhhh Shiiiiit!Doug: You fuckin' ni^^er!