Now, Torga, you know I love you very much. That is why I conquered the horde at Nurmijaarvi last month in your name. That is why, along with my trusty brother-in-arms Relkiska, I halted the onslaught of that Baltic bastard Borggata and his demented tribe. That is why I pillaged the hamlet of Varkaus to aquire the ancient Crown of Lennigrikas. I did it all for you, Torga, because I love you. But you know what? I kinda feel like I'm the only one bringing home any spoils in this relationship.

Like, just yesterday, when I came home from a long day of raiding, hoping—maybe, just maybe—that I might find a hot bowl of reindeer suet waiting for me, what were you doing? Sitting on the straw pile watching the goats mate! I had to fix my own ruisleip