Genie: Helloooo! Bonjour! Hola, my young friend, enter if you dare. Haha, just kidding, come on inside dude.

Jim: Genie, I have a problem.

Genie: Jimmy! Or do you go by Jim?

Jim: Well—

Genie: How about Jimbo? Or J-Town? It's the J-man! Nah, how about I just call you J?

Quickly adjusts white butler's gloves on his hands.

Genie: (In a cockney accent) And how may I be of service to you today, govna? Need your chimney swept? Or maybe your driveway cobblestones spit and polished?

Jim: Uhh, no. I've been depressed lately. Do you always carry those gloves around with you?

Genie: Come, come J. You don't come to guidance unless you wanna see a guy dance!

Does pirouette, spins Jim into seat.

Genie: Having some trouble with the ladies then I take it.

Puts on wig, assumes The Graduate pose on desk

Genie: Tell me now, J, do you find me sexy?

Jim: What? No, uh, yeah sure, you're sexy.

Genie: Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Takes several dramatic circus performer bows.

Jim: I've been thinking a lot about suicide lately Mr. Happy Helper.

Genie: Suicide, you say?

Grabs noose from behind desk and pretend chokes himself.

Genie: You mean, you've been thinking about ol' death-a-roo? The long goodbye? The big sleep? The ever after?

Jim: I just don't think life is worth living anymore. Hey, where are you getting all these props from?

Genie: Gonna do it with a gun?

Makes finger gun with left hand and points it at his temple.

Genie: Or maybe you'd rather jump off a tall building.

Leaps off desk.

Genie: Or maybe you're the experimental type and you'd rather just ram your head into the wall.

Rams head into chalk board several times.

Jim: I think I'm gonna get going now.

Genie: Now, now, don't buzz off that quickly, J.

Flaps hands on his back like wings, makes buzzing sound.

Jim: You've uh… helped me a lot, Mister. Really, I know exactly what to do now.

Genie: Bzzzzzz! I'm just a little worker bee around here J. Bzzzzzzz! Happy to help. Bzzzzzz! Don't bee a stranger now. Haha! Don't bee a stranger, get it? Bzzzzz!

Closes door behind Jim.

Genie: Phenomenal cosmic powers! Itty bitty office.