Genie: Helloooo! Bonjour! Hola, my young friend, enter if you dare. Haha, just kidding, come on inside dude.
Jim: Genie, I have a problem.
Genie: Jimmy! Or do you go by Jim?
Genie: How about Jimbo? Or J-Town? It's the J-man! Nah, how about I just call you J?
Quickly adjusts white butler's gloves on his hands.
Genie: (In a cockney accent) And how may I be of service to you today, govna? Need your chimney swept? Or maybe your driveway cobblestones spit and polished?
Jim: Uhh, no. I've been depressed lately. Do you always carry those gloves around with you?
Genie: Come, come J. You don't come to guidance unless you wanna see a guy dance!
Does pirouette, spins Jim into seat.
Genie: Having some trouble with the ladies then I take it.
Puts on wig, assumes The Graduate pose on desk
Genie: Tell me now, J, do you find me sexy?
Jim: What? No, uh, yeah sure, you're sexy.
Genie: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Takes several dramatic circus performer bows.
Jim: I've been thinking a lot about suicide lately Mr. Happy Helper.
Genie: Suicide, you say?
Grabs noose from behind desk and pretend chokes himself.
Genie: You mean, you've been thinking about ol' death-a-roo? The long goodbye? The big sleep? The ever after?
Jim: I just don't think life is worth living anymore. Hey, where are you getting all these props from?
Genie: Gonna do it with a gun?
Makes finger gun with left hand and points it at his temple.
Genie: Or maybe you'd rather jump off a tall building.
Leaps off desk.
Genie: Or maybe you're the experimental type and you'd rather just ram your head into the wall.
Rams head into chalk board several times.
Jim: I think I'm gonna get going now.
Genie: Now, now, don't buzz off that quickly, J.
Flaps hands on his back like wings, makes buzzing sound.
Jim: You've uh helped me a lot, Mister. Really, I know exactly what to do now.
Genie: Bzzzzzz! I'm just a little worker bee around here J. Bzzzzzzz! Happy to help. Bzzzzzz! Don't bee a stranger now. Haha! Don't bee a stranger, get it? Bzzzzz!
Closes door behind Jim.
Genie: Phenomenal cosmic powers! Itty bitty office.