Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Annoying Your Roommate
November 9, 2006
Waiting to go home for Thanksgiving Break, sitting in your stuffy room with your lame roommate can really suck, but you can escape this mundane existence. Just try some of these ways to annoy your roommate:
Mess with his computer
: Switch his mouse to the â€œleft handedâ€ settings, remove the â€œBâ€ button, or make a screen saver that says he has a tiny dick- itâ€™s both hilarious, and true
Hide the remote
: Not anywhere thatâ€™s impossible to find, try in a laundry basket, a desk drawer or taped to the building outside the window. The real beauty of this trick is that when your roommate finally finds the remote, youâ€™ve taken out the batteries.
Reverse the bed
: Sure itâ€™s an easy fix, but itâ€™s annoying nonetheless. Also, when your roommate starts to remake the bed, heâ€™ll find the massive crap you left in the sheets.
Send e-mails from his computer
: â€œDear Professor, The only thing stupider than your stupid eyeglasses is your stupid face and your stupid dead wife.â€ Or â€œDear Mom, Iâ€™m gay. Seriously. I have sex with men and like it. And Iâ€™m attracted to Dad.â€
Steal his money
: Iâ€™m not talking about the mug of quarters he keeps on his desk, or the 24 dollars he has in his wallet. Iâ€™m saying follow him to the
, watch him put in his
, memorize it, steal his card while heâ€™s sleeping and go empty his bank account.
: Simple. When heâ€™s in the dining hall trying to balance his enormous tray of french fries and Coca Cola just stick your foot out and trip him. When he hits the ground and everyone starts applauding you jump on him and stab him with a fork, then say, â€œYouâ€™ve been forked, mother-forker!â€
Put all his stuff in the hall
: And set it on fire.
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