It's a Thursday night, but your just not up for hitting the party scene. You're tired, you have to get up for class tommorrow, and it might be pretty relaxing just kicking back and watching a movie. The night is going pretty good…the movie is decent, you ordered some pizza, and a the girl you invited to hang out with you is finally letting you approach first while she brushes your inner thigh. Things look like they are progressing nicely, but don't hold your breath. Somebody bangs your your door, and you reluctantly get up to see who it is. Queu…

DOUCHE BAG ALCOHOLIC ON YOUR FLOOR

You actually don't mind alcoholics, and love to party every weekend when it's possible. Hell, you've even partied with this guy a few times. But after those few times, you spot the flaws in this individual. First of all, this guy is so ugly, he couldn't attract Courtney Love, so just associating with him at a party cancels out vagina for the night. His personality does not help the situation at all. He's not funny, does amazingly stupid and annoying stuff while he is drunk, but he can't tell stories well or is to drunk to remember, so you can't even hear about his antics in any sort of humorous fashion. So he's not even a fun alcoholic.

It doesn't improve your mood any when he demands you drive him to Taco Bell at 1:00 on a week night when you are completely sober. You've long avoided this guy, since his constant badgering to you that you both should get drunk at 4 in the afternoon on a Wedensday made you realize this guy is a total twat, especially since he only gets Keystone when everyone knows it's watered-down horse piss. And the Coup de Grace…this guy gets better grades than you without trying, all the while being completely annihilated 80% of the time.

As you think about this, he starts to piss on your RA's door. Greaat. We won't here about this tommorrow from the Complex Coordinator.

He's effectively pissed you off, ruined your date, probably succeeded in getting your whole floor put on probation for no reason, and makes you contemplate never drinking again so you never end up like him.

For shame