Ethan: This has been the greatest month for non-sports sports stories since O.J. The only way this could get better is if Nicole Brown Simpson's real killer was Tim Donaghy wearing a Bad Newz Kennels shirt. Has the NBA lost all of its credibility in the eyes of the public? Did it even have any to begin with?

Amir: We won't really know how much credibility is lost until the investigation ends. If somebody is threatening your life, is it illegal to call a late foul to push the game into the over? I don't think our founding fathers had this in mind when they wrote the constitution, though I haven't read amendments 16-33 so correct me if I'm wrong.

Ethan: The I know the 27th Amendment bans poll taxes, but I think there's some gambling subtext about not doubling down with a seven against a dealer face card showing.

Amir: The right to hit on Soft 17?

Ethan: Didn't we all sort of think the NBA was rigged before this? We were comfortable with superstars getting all the calls, we only complained a little about the 2006 Finals, we basically didn't mind, I guess. The NBA was always one hop from WWE, and nobody complained as long as we didn't have to see Oliver Miller in wrestling trunks.

Amir: Yeah, since when are people so upset about the NBA being "Unfair?" Isiah Thomas is the GM AND Coach of the New York Knicks. How is that fair to the city of New York? That's much less fair than two late Jamal Crawford free throws to cover the spread.

Ethan: What about Bruce Bowen taking a major paycut to play for the Spurs. How is that fair?

Amir: What about David Stern looking like an anorexic Alfred Hitchcock? Is that fair? God is the most corrupt ref of all…

Ethan: What can the NBA do to fix this problem? The refs make $260k a year and get an offseason, so it's not like they're destitute and trying to feed their families like Latrell Sprewell. (Sidenote: Spree's kids are really fucking hungry. If you're a CBA team, a coach for a Turkish leage squad, a diner owner with a place for a second-shift dishwasher, please call. Every little bit helps.)

Amir: Honestly, aren't you kind of surprised this hasn't happened earlier? And if you're a ref, how do you end up in the hole to the Mob in the first place?

Ethan: The Generals were due! Still, I'll watch the same number of NBA games next year. I gotta get my Darko fix! Grizzlies forever! Any new thoughts on Vick this week?

Amir: It's becoming more and more apparent drafting him in my fantasy football league was a huge mistake, and passing him up in my fantasy dogfighting league was equally dumb.

Ethan: Remind me to paypal you my buy-in for that, by the way.

Amir: I don't see him playing this season. It's no longer a personal issue, his team and the league don't even want him. And with no NFL Europe anymore there's no telling what foreign country he'll end up in.

Ethan: NFL Uzbekistan is getting some top talent. I think Quincy Carter and Tee Martin are both in the fight to start for the Tashkent Storm. Poor Falcons fans…they now have to watch a team whose backfield includes Joey Heisman and whatever's left of Warrick Dunn. It's roster you'd really have liked the look of on paper in 2004. "Oooo…Dunn…Harrington…Joe Horn? On turf? Super Bowl, baby!" Should the Falcons trade or cut Vick or just weather the storm?

Amir: Trade Vick?! Who would take Michael Vick right now? Though he would look right at home in Silver and Black I can't imagine any GM taking a risk on somebody who may very well have already played his last game in the NFL.

Ethan: He makes less than the average Oklahoma QB; maybe the Sooners would trade for him to save some money. So do you cut him or hold onto him?

Amir: That's up to Arthur "Fill in the" Blank.

Ethan: Fill in the Blank? Are you Chris Berman now? I can't wait for your next reference to Big Band music.

Amir: You know who this really helps? The Bengals. Remember when they were the bad boys? Nothing makes people forget about 3-5 DUI's quite like a good ole fashioned dog fight. Chris Henry is a modern day Mother Theresa next to Vick.

Ethan: I'm just glad there's a new Chris Henry in the NFL this year.

Amir: I heard he's going to change his name so people don't confuse him with a criminal. Something like "Ray Lewis" or "Barry Bonds."

Ethan: How excited are you for the "Will Selig watch Barry?" debate to go away. This whole thing is becoming like Barbaro, except not even a small part of me cares if Barry lives.

Amir: It's going to be funny when Bonds goes on another dry spell and Bud just goes to the next 40 Giants games. Following the team like some sort of die hard fan. Staying in their hotels. Begging dying kids to make that their final wish.

Ethan: I do like any situation that draws Selig into the public eye, though. Has anyone figured out how this guy came to run a multibillion dollar industry? If he was your manager at Arby's, you'd doublecheck every order with his assistant. Selig is like someone took a class on public speaking and leadership, then consciously tried to do the exact opposite. The grating voice, the fact that he looks like a fish wearing a toupee that's been cut with a Flowbee…I can go on.

Amir: This will all be worth it when Bud rushes the field and runs along Bonds as they trot home together dodging tomatoes and batteries.

Ethan: His facial expression if he's there when Barry breaks the record will be priceless. Like someone who ate five burritos and maybe a small live shark. I would consider getting it tattooed on my back. So how hot are the Cubs? Can they win in the playoffs?

Amir: Maybe if they moved cities. Or changed mascots.

Ethan: I think they're going to give the Brewers a run, but the non-Zambrano pitching is still suspect for the playoffs. Zambrano, Hill, Lilly, and Marquis are hardly a Murderer's Row. Unless Zambrano gets slightly angry. Then the bodies might start piling up.

Amir:
Speaking of interesting facts, today's interesting fact of the week comes from the wild world of NBA refereeing.

Ethan: Violet Palmer, you sexy dream. Every time I see you blow a call, I get slightly aroused.

Amir: Tim Donaghy went to Cardinal O'Hara HS in Springfield, Pennsylvania. Which normally wouldn't be a big deal, however that high school has produced FOUR NBA refs. Donaghy, Joe Crawford, Mike Callahan, and Ed Malloy.

Ethan: Donaghy and Joe Crawford? Whoever teaches the class on refereeing there is probably the worst priest ever.

Amir: Until next week, keep watching those LA Galaxy games you now die-hard MLS fans!

Ethan: David Beckham, every garbage time minute with you at the end of an exhibition game is like staring Jesus in the face!