First and foremost, I'm going to apologize to every woman I know who is not a feminist, because unfortunately I can't talk about women's rights activists without getting so angry that I end up taking it out on every female on the planet.

So I'm sorry.

But.

Feminists need to be put back in their fucking place.

Someone give me a belt, please.

Feminists are the lowest common denominator on this planet. Whenever I meet a married woman who has refused to give up her maiden name, I want to look her in the eye and ask her why she doesn't just fucking admit she's a huge lesbian already.

And does anyone know why the fuck feminists burn bras? What a fucking moronic act of defiance. Now everyone has to look at your saggy tits, and trust me, no man will be listening to you when you've got your tits moving everywhere. The bra was made for the man, in hopes that those things would stay still for 3 seconds so we could actually focus on something else…like your "personality".

And of course women don't have the balls to do something cool, like light the bra on fire while they're wearing it.

Now THAT is a fucking protest.

The only thing women should be allowed to burn is toast, and if they do that, they should be hit and locked in a closet for a month.

And seriously, is it me, or does every feminist seem to forget that they started their movement in hopes of equality…not domination.

Am I the only person that has a problem with women who talk for hours about how superior they are to men, then denounce society, and then come out and say all they want is to be equal?

It's all bullshit. You don't fool me, feminists.

And no. As long as men are physically stronger than women, they will not take over power.

If Hilary Clinton runs for President, I'm confident that our male elected officials will pass new legistlation that states that the election will be determined by an arm wrestling competition.

Then the Republicans will send their strongest candidate, Ah-nold, and the Dems will send their representitive with the biggest cock, Hilary, and it'll all work itself out.

I really think all feminists want is to not do laundry again. That's their only motivation to rule the world.

And to be honest, I don't really blame them, because doing laundry is absolutely awful.

But then again, I'm a man, so ya know…once I get married, I don't have to worry about it anymore.

Seriously…if women want to rally together for a common cause, they should try to come up with something that's within their grasp, like free cooking classes, as opposed to leadership, which will always go to men.

I mean, if you petitioned for free cooking classes, the men would probably actually support you, because nowadays, for some god-awful reason (feminism), not every woman knows how to prepare a savory, yet nutritional meal before their husband comes home from work.

I'm just saying…pick your battles.

Love ya, ladies! Muah!

Wait…women are people? Haha! You're right! That is radical and insane.