Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Timmy Visits the Doctor
July 26, 2007
Fortunately, Mrs. Miller, we detected that bump on Timmy's hands very early and removing it will be no problem. It's a relatively simple 3 hour surgery.
Surgery?! Hey mama, this crazy guy has never heard of something called prayer! The power of wishful thinkin' !
Yes of course You see Dr. Lee, we are Christian Scientists. We don't believe in medicine.
I never said that specifically.
Well if left unchecked, Ganglion Cysts could do some pretty major damage to Timmy's hands in the long run. Arthritis, paralysis to name a few.
Oh my Well Timmy, I'm sure Jesus wouldn't mind Dr. Lee helping us out? Right?
"Arthritis and Paralysis come to those who don't pray, and only to those who don't pray" You made me memorize that back when I was a little boy!
: Technically that's very wrong.
this office is just as you described it Mama. Bookcases filled to the brim, over flowing with every "medical book" ever printed. Every book of course, except for one. The One.
: Timmy, I'm not talking about a surgery just a procedure.
"Procedures are just Satan's lawyers finding a loophole in Jesus' glorious contracts! From the mighty cancer to the lowly Ganglion Cyst whatever is meant to be will be!"
I was hoping you wouldn't remember that one.
How about a lollipop? You'll get as many as you want!
"And the serpent doctor offered a lollipop as red and tasty as a forbidden fruit. But the boy declined the evil Dr. Lee."
All right, come on.
It's a real prayer.
With my name in it?!
You go by many names, foul serpent! Mama, how does this evil serpent hide his forked tongue?!
Yes. Well. I'll let you to talk it over.
Maybe this isn't even a cyst, mama! Maybe it's just a Jesus ball here to keep me company! God sure does hurt mama, but in a good way! Can you believe that evil Dr. Lee?
Quiet mama, I'm not that naive. You think I'm just gonna believe everything you tell me?
Not anymore, I guess
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.