Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
July 29, 2007
OK, let’s see here, Mr. Billings, right? Great. Well, I took a look over your application and I have to say it looks fantastic. As you know, we have pretty strict hiring standards here at Brist County Bank and Trust and I’m happy to say your credentials more than qualify you to be a teller here. So, do you have any questions?
Air conditioning? Why yes, yes of course we have air conditioning. Central air, in fact. Where does it come from? I believe it is cooled outside in a big unit and then pumped through vents in the ceiling to the banks many rooms. Yes, I agree, it was a good investment. Anything else?
The vents themselves? I believe they are made of aluminum or some similar metal. I got a quick glimpse of the system when they were installing it a few years back and it looked like some sort of metal. How wide are the vents? I honestly couldn’t give you an exact width. Would it fit a man? I suppose so, if he had narrow shoulders, but I couldn’t see any reason it would have to.
No, you’re right, if there were a raccoon in there I suppose someone would have to go up and get him out. Well, if that happened I guess the animal control agent would go through one of the access grates. There’s a fairly large one in the office supply room. That’s where we keep our stepladder as well, so that would likely be the point of entry for the animal control agent.
Could the vents support the animal control agent’s weight? That’s a good question. I’d be confident in saying so. I remember seeing the workmen installing supports in the system where it runs over open space below, like in this room. See? Take a look up there. Can you see the support brackets they installed to keep it from dropping down to the floor? Any other questions?
How do we ensure valuable documents in the vault aren’t ruined by humid air? Actually, funny you should ask that; the central air system we were just talking about runs through the vault as well. We had similar concerns when we installed the system and made sure the workmen ran a vent into the vault for just that reason. You see it’s all connected above our heads. The main vent runs through this room and then right over there – right by the last teller station it splits off and goes into the vault. Alarm? Oh no, not up there. Ha, well, I should hope no raccoons are trying to rob our vault! If they were we’d be in trouble! Any other questions? No?
Welcome to Brist Country bank and Trust, Mr. Billings!
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.