Does your girlfriend maintain that she's a virgin, but you're just not sure?  Here's a quick checklist to help you figure out if that cherry's been popped:



  • Her copy of the "Kama Sutra" has check marks on certain pages

  • She lets slip the fact that she’s had sex before, but when you call her on it she replies, “Yea, but it’s Opposite Day silly!”  If it’s truly Opposite Day, wouldn’t she say it’s NOT Opposite Day?

  • Her name is Erin Colnon, Brooke Bobb, or Emily Green.  I totally boned those broads already

  • She’s your younger sister.  Trust me dude, she’s already had sex.  And besides, if you’re going out with your younger sister, her V-Card status should be pretty low on your list of problems

  • One of her Facebook groups is "I tell people I'm a virgin, but I've really had sex"

  • When you do finally have sex and she achieves orgasm, she pants, "That was so good.  I always get off when I'm on top."

  • After eating something particularly tasty, she says, “That’s as good as sex, which I’ve had before.”

  • Her name is Charlene.  All Charlenes are miserable cunts who cheat on you.  YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME CHARLENE!!  WE WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER!!