Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
December 7, 2006
It's time once again to delve into a world of knowledge your school knows nothing about. A world of useful knowledge provided by my friends over at
. Today, why don't we take some time to learn about
Deviant Uses For Common Products
Sudafed, NyQuil, Tylenol Cold
Well, most people in Missouri from what I hear. Apparently, the meds are useful to drug dealers because they contain pseudoephedrine, which is currently over the counter, but probably won’t be for long. Sen. Feinstein is trying to put meth labs out of business by requiring prescriptions for cough medicine sales, and limiting individual purchases to 7.5 grams a month which is all well and good until you find yourself preforming sex acts on strangers in an alley just to get a few grams of the Quil.
An Oral-B Hummingbird Flosser, a 9-volt battery
A ridiculously good lock pick
A lot of people on the internet, including the folks at inventgeek.com. By simply jerryrigging the Oral-B to use the stronger battery, and inserting a standard lock pick into the end of it, you can break into most padlocks. This is especially useful if you're a fan of breaking into people's gym lockers and pleasuring yourself in their socks. No judgments here, man.
Morning Glory Seeds
Well Native Americans for one. Chewing morning glory seeds can result in trips, but you’ll have to down more than a couple to feel the effects. In fact, it’ll take about 200-500 homegrown seeds to feel lifted. Of course, chewing the seeds also results in stomach aches, and most commercially available seeds are laced with insecticides, partially to keep potential users from chowing down. That's why your mom and dad have to grow their own in the backyard.
McDonald’s stirrers (from the 70s)
The perfect spoon for doing cocaine
Anyone in a courtroom. If you can remember back, the coffee stirrers at Micky D’s used to be pretty iconic, and functional! Each stirrer had the Golden Arches on one end, a long slim body, and then a tiny spoon on the end, perfect for measuring a little sugar into your coffee. Apparently, however, so many of the plastic stirrers ended up in cocaine drug busts as evidence A, that McDonalds got scared about their rep, and stopped giving them out with coffees. Today, you can still purchase the stirrers at online auctions for a whopping $4-5. Or, if your short on cash, you could just dig through boxes of your mom's stuff from the 70's.
Ink, kerosene, charcoal and matches
That kid you used to beat up in high school.
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