Some racist stuff happened at my school last week and people are outraged, as they very well should be. They're staging protests, and sit-ins, and talks with the administration. These are all constructive solutions.

But one guy at the ralley screamed that he wanted an "end to all isms." And everybody cheered him on. But personally I think this is a really drastic and unnecessary response.

I mean, what would the world be like without ANY isms? Here's a list of all the great things we'd be missing out on:


Semitism: That's right my friend. In trying to rid the world of racism you got rid of the ability to be Jewish. Who is going to do your taxes now, or produce your short film, or get your delinquent son acquitted of drug possession? That's what I thought. Shut up.

Alcoholism: Basically this guy is saying he wants to do away completely with college, and I'm sorry but higher education is very much a part of what makes America great



Voyeurism: How are we ever going to be able to peek into the girls' locker room without their knowledge unless this concept exists? It's just not feasible.



Plagiarism: This is actually a good one because now I can get my papers done in three minutes. Copy, paste, and print. Oh wait, can't forget the heading.




Journalism: This is another good one. There are all these rules with newspapers that things have to be "factual." God, don't they know that all truth is relative? You know what ISM HATER you might be onto something here.





Fuck ISMs! Free Yayo.