Prosecutor: Thank you for coming to testify today. Would you please state and spell your full name for the court?
Shaggy: Mr. Lover lover. Mr. Lover lover, girl.
Prosecutor: Well then Mr. Lover…
Shaggy: She call me Mr. Boombastic say me fantastic.
Prosecutor: What would you prefer that I call you?
Shaggy: Shorty, you're my angel, you're my darling Angel.
Prosecutor: That's very sweet of you, but let's stick to business Mr. Boombastic. Did you see Mr. Waterson the night the crime took place?
Shaggy: I'm Mr. Lover lover.
Prosecutor: OK…Mr. Lover lover…isn't it true that you saw Mr. Waterson come out of a dark alley on 33rd street with a bloody knife in his hand?
Shaggy: I'm a lyrical lover no take me for no filth.
Prosecutor: Yes, I'm sure you're very good in bed…and clean as you asserted in pre-trial hearings. Mr. Boombastic can you tell me if you saw this man (points to defendant) on the night of April 27th, 2005?
Shaggy: Girl, what you gon' do with all that body.
Defense: Objection!
Judge: Sustained. Mr. Boombastic, if you could please answer the question.
Shaggy: Bow wow wow yippie yo, yippie yay.
Prosecutor: It's a yes or no question Mr. Boombastic. Did you see the defendant the night the crime took place?
Shaggy: Bow wow yippie yo, yippie yay, woof.
Judge: Ms. Thompson, can you please explain what is going on with your witness?!
Prosecutor: Your honor, I think he is speaking dog.
Judge: Dog?
Prosecutor: It's a four legged mammal, typically domesticated and…
Judge: I know what a dog is damn it! Just get him to stop for cryin' out loud.
Prosecutor: All right. I'm going to ask you one more time Mr. Boombastic. Did you happen to see this man, the defendant, on trial for the brutal murder of an innocent young woman, at the scene of the crime late one evening in 2005?
Shaggy: It wasn't me.
Prosecutor: What?
Shaggy: It wasn't me.
Prosecutor: No one is saying it was you Mr…
Shaggy: It wasn't me.
Prosecutor: Mr. Boombastic, we got it all on camera.
Shaggy: It wasn't me.
Prosecutor: The defendant has marks on his shoulder!
Shaggy: It wasn't me.
Prosecutor: Mr. Boombastic…you are a disgrace to the American Justice System. Not only have you made a mockery of myself, the judge, and this entire courtroom but your failure to testify accurately about what you witnessed will most likely set a guilty man free. No further questions. And here is my phone number. Please call me to arrange dinner and drinks to discuss this um…business…further.
Shaggy: I'm Mr. Ro…ro…romantic.