Dad
:  So, do you guys wanna start opening up presents?
Me
:  Sure.
My Brother
:  Absolutely.
Mom:  Ok, why don’t you go first Steven.  Here’s one for you.
Me:  Sweet, a Nintendo Wii!  Thanks a lot!  Here mom, open this one.  It’s from me.
Mom:  Oh, wow…look at this…an ornament with your school’s logo on it…thanks.
Me:  Why don’t you put it on the tree now?
Mom:  No, let’s save it for next year…it’s too…special.
Me:  That’s fine.
My Brother:  Here Steve, open this up.
Me:  Oh awesome, Arrested Development DVDs.  Thanks!  Open this one up.
My Brother:  Ok, let’s see what we have here…ahhh, a t-shirt with the name of your school on it.  Great…this will go great with the shorts you got me for my birthday…
Me:  No problem.
Dad:  Alright, open this one up Steven.  I think you’ll like it.
Me:  Wow, baseball stuff!  Thanks Dad!
Dad:  You’re welcome.
Me:  Here, I got this for you.
Dad:  I wonder what it could be…it’s a…polo shirt…that says Santa Clara Dad on it.  Wow, this is a lot better than the one you got me last year.  This one’s red.
Me:  I know, right!
Dad:  (Muttered) You’re a horrible son…
Me:  What’s that?
Dad:  I said, “You’re a…deplorable…son.”  Wait, that’s no good either.  Shit.  Get me another whiskey sour.