What we say to…

- I'm considering a few possible majors. Economics seems interesting. That reminds me, I need another $150 for textbooks.
Friends - Everyone says I'm majoring in the bong sciences, with a double minor in left boobs and right boobs.
Everyone - Communications is a real major. No, it is! It's pretty hard sometimes!

Parents - Yeah, I've had some beers here or there with my study group after an exam. I don't really like the taste.
Friends - One afternoon me, my roommate, and a defensive tackle from the football team just started mixing together whiskey and gin. I don't even know how it started. I got so drunk, I tried out to be the mascot. I got second place, I think it was fixed. That was like the third our fourth craziest afternoon of the semester.
God - I swear to you if you cure this hangover I will never drink that much again.

Parents - A lot of those C+'s were 79.44s. I'm still waiting to get a few grades back.
Friends - I thought I definitely, beyond a shadow of a doubt failed every one of my finals.
Girl from high school you're passively still trying to sleep with over IM – I'm doing pretty well, I wish I had more time to study but I'm just constantly working out.

Parents- I don't really have much time for girls. I guess I've gone out on some dates.
Friends - I've literally transformed myself into a pussy magnet. So many girls I had to beat them off with a stick, but I stopped because they started to like that.
Girl you are close to sleeping with, but can't close the deal – I love you.