Mom: Honey, we have to talk.

Dad: Sure, what is it?

Mom: It’s about what I found in Corbin’s room while cleaning it today.

Dad: Well what did you find?

Mom: I found a box of condoms.

Dad: Oh honey, there’s nothing wrong with that!  Our boy is old enough now to be making his own decisions. We wouldn’t be good parents if we told him he couldn’t have sex.

Mom: Ok, I don’t know how to put this, but…these aren’t…normal condoms.

Dad: Oh ho ho, is our boy using Magnums? I told you he takes after his father.

Mom: No, they’re not Magnums…they’re condoms specially made for, well…anal sex.  

Dad: Oh! Ok, well, I guess our son likes to play in the mud a bit. There’s nothing wrong with door #2 honey. You know, it’s been a while since we…

Mom: GAY anal sex.    

Dad: WHAT?!

Mom: Yea, look right here on the package.  “Dr. William Montana’s Specially Made Gay Anal Sex Condoms.”

Dad: Ok that is just preposterous. Maybe…maybe he just bought them because they didn’t have anything else at the store.


Mom:
That’s what I thought too, but, here, look at his shopping list.

Dad: Dr. William Montan—OK LOOK! Maybe they just feel better when he is having intercourse. Regular, normal, heterosexual intercourse…with a woman.

Mom: Yea, I’m not too sure about that…look at what else I found.

Dad: Oh Jesus…that’s not…that’s not a Polaroid of our boy doing…THAT, is it?

Mom: I’m afraid it is.

Dad: I think I’m going to be sick…


Fifteen silent minutes later


Mom: What are you thinking honey?

Dad: I’m thinking that it’s your fault our son is like this.

Mom: What?

Dad: Remember when you had him take ballet lessons when he was six?

Mom: Oh, you can’t be serious…

Dad: It’s your fault! All your fault!

Mom: Look, we can’t be pointing fingers here. We need to be there to support our son right now. This must be a difficult time for him.

Dad: Oh, sure, I’ll be there for him. Every other weekend, that is.

Mom: What do you mean?

Dad: I want a divorce.