Mom: Honey, we have to talk.
Dad: Sure, what is it?
Mom: It’s about what I found in Corbin’s room while cleaning it today.
Dad: Well what did you find?
Mom: I found a box of condoms.
Dad: Oh honey, there’s nothing wrong with that! Our boy is old enough now to be making his own decisions. We wouldn’t be good parents if we told him he couldn’t have sex.
Mom: Ok, I don’t know how to put this, but
Dad: Oh ho ho, is our boy using Magnums? I told you he takes after his father.
Mom: No, they’re not Magnums
they’re condoms specially made for, well
Dad: Oh! Ok, well, I guess our son likes to play in the mud a bit. There’s nothing wrong with door #2 honey. You know, it’s been a while since we
Mom: GAY anal sex.
Mom: Yea, look right here on the package. “Dr. William Montana’s Specially Made Gay Anal Sex Condoms.”
Dad: Ok that is just preposterous. Maybe
maybe he just bought them because they didn’t have anything else at the store.
Mom: That’s what I thought too, but, here, look at his shopping list.
Dad: Dr. William Montan—OK LOOK! Maybe they just feel better when he is having intercourse. Regular, normal, heterosexual intercourse…with a woman.
Mom: Yea, I’m not too sure about that…look at what else I found.
Dad: Oh Jesus
that’s not a Polaroid of our boy doing
THAT, is it?
Mom: I’m afraid it is.
Dad: I think I’m going to be sick…
Fifteen silent minutes later
Mom: What are you thinking honey?
Dad: I’m thinking that it’s your fault our son is like this.
Dad: Remember when you had him take ballet lessons when he was six?
Mom: Oh, you can’t be serious…
Dad: It’s your fault! All your fault!
Mom: Look, we can’t be pointing fingers here. We need to be there to support our son right now. This must be a difficult time for him.
Dad: Oh, sure, I’ll be there for him. Every other weekend, that is.
Mom: What do you mean?
Dad: I want a divorce.