I've always said it: there's nothing like a good conversation with a spammer. Instead of ignoring them, I sometimes reply back to them and try to waste their time. But it's hard to get a good convo flowing unless they think you are dumb enough to potentially fall for whatever information they want you to send them. It helps if you use broken english and capitalize random letters like they do. Below are the exact e-mails that were exchanged between us a couple of weeks ago.


Dear Friend,

I am Mrs.Amina Bamali.
My husband who was a Project/Building Contractor with the JULIUS BERGER NIGERIA PLC died of cancer of the lungs at Marcorm Specialist Hospital,London, on the 17th September,2006 and has now been buried.

Therefore,I want to engage your service in the immediate transfer/investment of my late husband's deposited fund in the sum £ 9,375,640(Nine Million,Three Hundred and Seventy-Five Thousand,six hundred and forty British Pounds Sterling) in his foreign bank account in London.

If your capability and honesty must be guaranteed,please kindly get back to me for further details as regards to the transfer/investment and travelling arrangement of me and my children to live with you in your country.

Regards,
Mrs.Amina.


Hello Mrs. Bamali,
I would love guests in my home of the US of A. First, how much money is this offering translated into US dollar? Lastly, when would you would be visiting me? Can't wait to hear from you dearest!

Jake



Hello my dearest friend Jake Klocksien,

I just want to tell you why i need this help urgently to RE-TRANSFER my late husband's fund to you for safe purpose.I am a mother of four children(a son and 3 daughters) Okay. What's happening to my life since after the death of my husband is affecting my comfortability here.

You cannot believe that My late husband's family brothers are not treating me well like a married lady to their late brother who happened to be my husband.

You cannot believe that they have seized and collected almost all my late husband's properties/buildings. They said that according to their local customs and traditions that i do not have any right to own those properties since i am only a married lady to the family.Yes,i understood their point as they are right.

But in a every disappointment,there is a blessing.They do not know about my late husband's deposited money in his foreign account in london and this is why i am crying to your help to assist me and do all your best in RE-TRANSFERRING the money to your account.
Then you can help me and my children in comming over to meet you and live comfortably in your country.

I hope using the money to buy a residential house,a commercial building for the investment of the fund in a profitable business/venture you will advise me to go into in your country.
my dear friend,before i recommend you as the beneficiary to the bank for the transfer,i will like you to send your picture photo to me.Also, I will send my picture photo to you so we will know our faces very well till i come over to meet you.

I can send to you the certificate of deposit of the money and also give you the contact of the bank director incharge of foreign remittance. Also,I will send a letter draft to you which you will forward to the bank showing that i have directed you to contact the bank.

Also,since my late husband died at Marcom Specialist Private Hospital in London,the director said he will help and recommend a lawyer who can help us to put up the legal documentations in securing my late husband's medically certified death certificate from the management of the hospital and also the lawyer will certify you as the beneficiary for the bank to transfer the money into your account. My dear friend, i really count on you to help me
I hear that in this kind of transfer,the beneficiary who is to receive the money can get upto 20% of the money as share in helping in the re-transfer of the money. my dear friend, this money is my only hope to buy a family house in your country and go into investment,please i want you to accept 10% and help me ok. I am waiting to hear your positive answer. My family phone number +234 803 6747 199.You can call me ok.I want you to give me your phone number.

Take care of yourself,
Mrs.Amina Bamali.


Dear Mrs. Bamali,

You sound like you have a very tragic story on your hands, dear. I am terribly apologized. I have a tragic situation as well. My entire families were crashed in a traffic accident last night. None survived. Anyhoo, would you like to live in my home because it is very empty and would be possible to support you and your childs. I have always wanted three sisters! Please let me know in the most quick fasion. I hope to Hear from You soon.

Jake "My family is deceased" Klocksien



Hello my dear friend Jake,

I am sorry ok.Take heart ok..I have now scanned and attached my family and personal photos, I need your own photo ok for us to know our faces very well till we meet ok. I can live with you with my children ok.

I have not travelled outside the country before,this is why i want your acceptance of the 10% of the fund as your share in helping in re-transfer of my family fund into your account so that i can proceed in arranging my travelling papers to come to your country ok.

I hope receiving your photo and these information so I will send the certificate of deposit of the fund to youand also send a recommendation letter to the bank to contact you. Please I need your information in this order.

YOUR FULL NAME:
NATIONALITY:
DATE OF BIRTH:
OCCUPATION:
HOW MANY YEARS OF EXPERIRNCE:
RESIDENTIAL/OFFICE/BUSINESS ADDRESS:
DIRECT TEL/PHONE NUMBERS:
MARITAL STATUS:
THE TYPE OF INVESTMENT:
CITY/PLACE/TOWN FOR THE INVESTMENT:


Hello friend,

before I send the information you require which I plan on doing as soon as possibles, I was wondering what the conditions would be on our deal. After alls, you have lost a husband and I am newly single after the death of my long term girlfriend in the crashing I mentioned earlier. Does this mean we would partake in Sexual cooperation?

I await your response,

Jake klocksien



Hello Jake,

I am a mother of four children already ok.All the same,i can remarry to you if you show me that you are a lovely and nice man..You will treat my children like their father did ok.

Regards,
Mrs.Amina


Hello Mrs.Amina,

I do realize that you are a mother of four. I myself do not want any childrens of my own but I do like to make the Sexual cooperation in bedroom. Would we be able to collaberate in this activity together? I am very nice and I cannot wait to meet your loving family. How old of age is your daughters?

Wishing best,
Jake Klocksien



My dearest friend Jake,

That's ok with me.My daughter ages are 15,13 and 11. And my son is 17 ok.
Dearest Mrs. Amina,

Do you have any friends that will be coming alongs to stay with us? I prefer to make sex with two woman at the once whenever possible.

Regards,
Jake Klocksien

Maybe it was too soon to ask for a threesome. I should have known better. More stuff like this at klocksien.blogspot.com.