Aunt: So, your little cousin is really growing up.You: She sure is.Aunt: Only 15, and looking like a woman.You: Yep.Aunt: I didn't have breasts like that when I was 15.You: Okay then.Uncle: You still don't have breasts like that, Charlene.Aunt: Let's not do this here, Tom.You: It sure is unseasonably warm.Aunt: Have you noticed? Her breasts? You must have noticed.You: I didn't really Uncle: He noticed. While we were opening gifts
he noticed.You: No, come on, I
Aunt: I guess I'm just not ready for her to grow up.You: I understand.Aunt: Can I ask you a private question, if you'll keep it between us?You: Oh look, pigs-in-blankets.Aunt: (whispering) I think she's having sex. How do I know?You: What?Uncle: God knows we aren't.Aunt: Let's not do this here, Tom.You: Yeah, why don't we Aunt: Can I read her diary?You: I don't think Aunt: I read her diary. She says "I don't trust my mom."You: I can't imagine why.Aunt: With the sex
is there a noise, or a smell, to look for?Uncle: You're going to look for a smell, Charlene?Aunt: Tom, I'm having an affair.You: I have to go put the lights on the ham.