Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Overheard At Art School
December 27, 2006
This green, it’s a fire engine green. And I know that fire engines are red, but… if this was some… alternate plane where fire engines are green, this would be the green they would be.
On a scale of 1 to 10, I give this… the bottom hump of the 3 and the tail of the 9.
I don’t think I can properly analyze this piece with my eyes… perhaps if I turn slightly and… grant a view to my ear—Ah, yes.
If you wanted the world, why didn’t you just ask for the world? Instead you painted this.
The way you draw the figure, he seems to have a lot on his mind. A library book overdue. I can even see which one. Ayn Rand’s
. He hasn’t even started it yet. He hasn’t… even started.
Most of all what I absolutely love is how you painted this lovely white border around here and—what? That’s not painted in? Oh, you fail.
I know absolutely nothing of biological science… but this is a simply… deciduous painting. Pure emulsification.
There are so many positive things I can say about this piece… but that would be an insult to the negative space. Now what I hate is…
The music. Yes, yes! The music of this painting. Everyone, can you hear it? Can you feel it? Now, can you smell it? …well I can.
The way you paint it’s… you know what I want you to do? I want you to take a weaving class. Yes, Brad, I want you to walk out of here today and sign up for weaving. I think in forty years you could be a master weaver. What? Yes, I’ll be dead by then.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.