Hell Week at Gamma Alpha Upsilon


Brother: I said, 'Open your mouth, Pledge'.

Pledge: It's just that…well, this seems a little…you know?

Brother: What? What does it seem like? A sacred oath?

Pledge: No, not a sacred oath. It feels a little…

Brother: Awesome? Holy?

Pledge: No, gay. It seems pretty gay.

Brother: Gay?!?

Pledge: Yeah, gay. I mean, do I really need to put your thing in my mouth?

Brother: Yes. Yes you do.

Pledge: And that doesn't seem gay to you at all?

Brother: No, it seems like trust to me.

Pledge: Trust?

Brother: Yes, trust. I'm trusting you not to bite me in my most vulnerable place.

Pledge: Fine, I get that. But still, it's gay.

Brother: No, it's not. Was it gay when you did the "Walk of Trust" with the other pledges?

Pledge: You mean when we held each other's penises and walked around in a circle saying 'You are my brother, I love you'??

Brother: Of course! What other "Walk of Trust" has there been?

Pledge: Yeah, that was kind of gay.

Brother: And the "Paddle of Brotherhood"?

Pledge: Yup. Pretty gay there too.

Brother: I'm starting to question your loyalty to Gamma Alpha Upsilon…

Pledge: Me too.

Brother: All of these exercises are to promote Brotherhood and Loyalty. The pillars of what our fraternity were founded on.

Pledge: Yeah, but what part of sodomizing us Pledges with candlesticks equalled Loyalty?

Brother: Trust me, it works. Has any Brother ever given up the secrets of the fraternity?

Pledge: But seriously, it's a little gay.

Brother: Think of all the chicks you'll get. A Gamma Alpha Upsilon guy never sweats the V. Now, just open your mouth. It'll only take a second.

Pledge: Fine, if it wasn't for all the chicks, this would be soooo gay.

Brother: Shhh…Shhh…Shhh…Just let it happen.