Amir: 2007 Tostitos Fiesta Nacho Bowl: Best Bowl Game Ever?
Ethan: I know this much: of all the Best Games Ever that have been played in the last year, this one was definitely top-seven. USC-Texas notwithstanding. Oh, and Michigan-Ohio State. But waaaaay better than Clemson-Kentucky
Amir: First of all, this was better than USC-Texas and Michigan-Ohio State. Second of all, I make it a motion for that play to be called the "hook and lateral." That makes so much more sense than the "hook and ladder." Mainly because it's a hook, then a lateral. Also, the statue of Liberty Play should be called a "Fakey Wakey, Eggs and Two Point Conversion."
Amir: I think even more impressive than all of that was Loyd Carr's ability to blow yet another bowl game. Last I heard, the Wolverine faithful were asking for a USC rematch. Mike Hart even said, and dont quote me because I'm making this up, "If this game was in a MORE neutral territory, like say Cheyenne, Wyoming totally different ball game." I wanna hear from all the Michigan fans defend their team now. The same ones who were chanting "Re-match!" should be chanting "Never-mind!"
Ethan: I mean, the rematch is what America wanted to see, although Urban Meyer has already had three press conferences saying that Florida has earned the right to get beaten by USC just since lunch today. The Big 10 has just had it rough this bowl season, although Penn State came through big in the Outback Bowl, allowing Joe Paterno to add to his record of Most Wins by a Coach Who Never Speaks to Anyone During the Game. How is he coaching? He's sitting in the press box with no headset, and the only time I saw him talk was to ask a waiter to bring him a hot dog. It's amazing.
Amir: It's the mirrors. Next season Joe Pa wants to coach from home "in between Saturday morning cartoon commercials." What? His grandkids just got him TiVo for Christmas! Well, it's only DVR, but still. Seriously, though. "Hook and Lateral." So much more sense. Hook and Ladder is clearly a misunderstanding that got carried away.
Ethan: I would normally agree, but it would take forever to redo the commentary on every NFL Films Saints game from the 70's. I mean, the NFL Films Voiceover Guy would be hoarse for weeks after that. Speaking of the NFL, who do you like this weekend?
Amir I like the Eagles at home over the Giants. The Seahawks at home over the Cowgirls. The Patriots over the Jets, and my upset special: The 7 point underdog Chiefs over the Colts. Maybe, you like Peyton Manning's team, maybe?
Ethan: D-CAF!!! The only way I can see the Colts winning this is if LJ rushes for 400 yards on them in the first half, then dies from exhaustion at halftime. I do think Eli could sneak out a win over the Eagles. Or, he could choke in the playoffs, carrying the Manning mantle as the most aptly named quarterback this side of Cleo Lemon.
Amir: You THINK Eli could sneak out a win over the Eagles? If we want to be held accountable here, you're going to have to go out on a limb. These match-ups are a little disappointing. I am already salivating at the weekend after, though. Pats/Ravens? Chargers/Chiefs. Bears/Anybody? Should be hot.
Ethan: Okay, okay the Giants WILL upset the Eagles. I just hope the announcers focus on the most important question of the playoffs: Is Brett Favre retiring? I haven't heard anyone mention it, but it seems like a relevant topic.
Amir: His heart is saying no, but his beard (and 80,000 Packer fans) is saying yes. Somebody dust off Doug Pederson. It's time for his big break!
Ethan: Somewhere, Aaron Rodgers is hoping that he can just remain a backup for his whole career so no one will lump him in with the other Jeff Tedford QB busts. Somewhere else, Akili Smith is hoping the customers start pouring in at his roadside produce stand.
Amir: All right, our text limit is almost up. I'm gonna end every week with my patented "Fun Sports Fact!" so that everybody will walk away learning something new. This week's Fun Sports Fact!: Kobe Bryant is in his 11th season in the NBA. Guess how much older he is than Dwyane Wade, who just finished his third?
Ethan: Five years and 19 years younger than Greg Oden?
Amir: Less! He's only three years older than Dwyane Wade! (And 45 years younger than Grandpa Greg Oden) And if you are still reading, leave your comments, we wanna know what you guys think!
For more Sports Comedy action, check out Amir and Ethan's sports blog: StraightCashHomey.net.
Ethan: Well, they've already changed the name once. Prior to 1876 it was just called the Open Expanse of Water off the Southwest Tip of Manhattan Play. Thank God the French gave us that statue. Which leads me to this question: was that last two-point conversion by Boise State more impressive than the Annexation of Puerto Rico in Little Giants. I say yes if only because Bob Stoops is more evil than Ed O'Neill.