my brother

Do you think the writers for South Park believe in God?

I don't think I know them well enough to form an opinion about their religious views.

I think they might. They make fun of Christianity a lot less than they make fun of other stuff.

They make fun of hell all the time.

Yeah, but God would probably approve of that.

So you think they do?


Does that make you respect them less?

Not really.

I know how much you hate God.

I don't hate God, I just don't think he's real. What I hate is church.

Ah. My mistake. So why do you care if they believe in God?

Well, I think they might have stumbled upon a really profound idea which could literally change the face of the electronic entertainment industry.

Which is…?

That the PSP was created by God.

Jesus. You know that episode came out like two years ago, right?

Yes. Shut up.

You also know they weren't being serious?

I realize that it's a comedy show, retard.

If I were you, I'm not sure I'd be slinging around accusations of questionable intelligence, Mr. I-think-God-make-a-video-game-system.

If I were you, I'd shut up and let me explain myself.

Then by all means, proceed.

Okay, so in South Park they implied that God created the PSP to find, like, the person best suited to act as a general in the war between good and evil.

I believe he was specifically looking for someone who could act as Keanu Reeves.

Whatever. So I don't agree that that was His motivation, but –

I thought you don't even believe that God exists.

Well, I don't. Also if you interrupt me again, I'm going to punch you.

If you punch me, I'm going to tell on you.

God. You are a moron.

Whatever, lady-hitter.

I'm going to leave, and you're never going ot hear about how God created the PSP and the subsequent argument that will change the gaming industry.

Wait, let me just set up my dictaphone here… Okay, regale me, Sport.

Seriously, I hate you.


Okay, so you know Plato?

Not personally.

You know how to not be a smartass?


I assume you've read about his world of Being and world of Becoming?


Okay, so Plato was obviously totally right.

Just because Plato lived way before us, doesn't mean he's infallible.

It pretty much does.

For the sake of argument, okay.

Okay, so everything exists in the world of Being, and then what we see, in the world of Becoming, is just a shadow of that, but we recognize it, because we all used to live in the world of being before we were born.

Really we lived in Mommy's tummy.

I'm really about to punch you, I am not kidding. Our consciousness was in the world of Being.

Then how come I saw Robocop before I was born? I saw it when I was in Mommy's tummy.

Robocop came out three years after you were born.

That makes it all the more amazing.

You probably watched it while you were both in the world of Being.

… Woah. Everything's falling into place.

So the world of Being explains where everything in the world of Becoming came from.


But where did the stuff in the world of Being come from?

Um… Plato's imagination?

I'm going to cut the brake lines in your car.

Joke's on you, sucka. We share that car.

Joke's on you, sucka. I'm suicidal.

Prove it.

… Let's assume that the world if Being is Heaven.


And if that's the case, then everything in the world of Being was created by God.

So you do believe in Him!

No. Just listen. Plato says that everything is in the world of Being before we recognize it here.


So everything that exists on Earth, from trees to cars to chlamydia, used to be in the world of Being, aka Heaven, and was therefore created by God.


The PSP is on Earth.


Therefore it was created by God.

Okay, but that's dumb. You're just saying that everything is created by God. It's a cop-out to try to make an episode of South Park seem realistic. You don't even believe in God!

But a lot of other people do. A lot of people who believe in God are also crazy, and want to impose stricter censors on video games.

Indeed they do.

But that's bullshit. It's an infringement on the freedom of speech, or assembly, or something.

Most likely NOT of assembly. Or, really, of speech.

Either way, if the PSP (and, by association, every video game) was created by the God they love so much, they would have to endorse it. If God wouldn't want them or their children to see something inappropriate, he wouldn't have created it in the world of Being.

That seems like a pretty stupid argument which might go over okay on the religious fanatics. The only things you're discounting are: every humanistic or scientific advancement since the Bible was written and Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.


So when Socrates and Joan of Arc and Genghis Kahn and whoever come to the future, they don't recognize a bunch of shit. If all the stuff was really in the world of Being, wouldn't they have memories of it from their time before birth?

First of all, stuff has existed in the world of Being since the beginning of time. It still has to be discovered or invented by humans before it is recognized as existing on earth.

Whatever. This theory is stupid. You will never convince super-Christian, protective moms to allow their kids to play San Andreas. They just don't appreciate the art of weight lifting.

Whatever. I'm going to make a really violent video game and blame it on God and make a shitton of money, and I'm not going to share any of it with you.

That's retarded. Seriously. Who did you get your pot from this week? Because it's a lesser quality stash.

… I don't smoke.

Listen, you're my brother. Even if you're ugly and stupid, I still love you enough to mooch some of your pot. How old are you now?

My birthday was last week, you whore.

So, what? Like 15?

I'm 17.

Okay. Well listen. I'm going to go to the store and get some Swishers or some shit to use for a blunt, and then we're going to smoke all the shitty weed you have left so you stop having these stupid ideas and realize that just because something is realted to Plato, doesn't mean it's a valid argument. And then I'm going to give you the number of a reliable source.


We're also going to play a whole lot of Guitar Hero, and I'm going to beat all your high scores.

Haha. "High" scores.