Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
The Morning After Entourage: The Young And The Stoned
August 13, 2007
LA is weird. When someone crashes into my car it’s usually a dumb high-school girl, or white trash dude. That’s New Jersey. In LA, there’s a good chance you’ll bump bumpers with a hot model/actress, Harrison Ford or ET the extra-terrestrial. Famous people have cars and sometimes they crash them. I know Entourage is just a TV show, but E’s fender bender last night with Anna Faris wasn’t that far-fetched. The fact that she was naked and very cordial about the incident may have been a little far-fetched.
After tracking her down to get her insurance information, E even got a date with Ms. Faris, or so he thought. The next time I’m looking to meet girls I guess I’ll just slam on my breaks on a busy highway. If I survive, maybe something will come of it. Unfortunately for E, Anna’s interests were purely business, not pleasure. She has a boyfriend already. I don’t feel bad for E. Living in Hollywood and hanging out with the rich and famous all the time gives you access to a wonderful resource that us normal people could only dream of with Facebook. If E was interested in Anna, then the first thing he should have done was to look up her Wikipedia page. Not only would it have told him whom she was dating, but it would have contained a link to the original source. Clearly, this was E’s oversight.
E did get a new client out of the deal, which looks like it will cause some trouble in paradise between him and Vince in the near future (or so the preview had me believe). E and Vince are so cute, just like a married couple.
E and Vince weren’t the only jealous married couple on the show this week. For one of the first times ever we saw something that vaguely resembled romance between Ari and wife: jealousy. Are was extremely jealous after learning that Mrs. Gold (what is her first name, does anyone know? It’s not even on
) was going to be doing an episode of The Young And The Restless, and she’d be kissing a strapping, young lad named Julio.
In the end, it turned out to be an issue of Mrs. Gold feeling old. Ari just needed to tell her she was beautiful and then everything was all better. That’s just like a woman. I don’t know how old she is, but she actually looked pretty hot in lingerie at the beginning of the episode. Good for Ari.
I’ve always suspected that Turtle was bad with the ladies, but after this episode I’m convinced that he would not get a single woman without Vince. He’s not even ashamed of it. After getting turned down in a grocery store, all he had to do was drop Vince’s name and he had three girls going home with him. They weren’t even nice to him about it. They didn’t pretend they were interested in him. Poor guy.
Now, you guys will have to help me out with this, because I don’t know much about weed. Do strains of marijuana just get “discontinued?” Do they go extinct? Why would that happen? This week Turtles favorite strain of weed went extinct, and to me that just doesn’t make sense. That’s not how you run a business. Pepsi wouldn’t discontinue Pepsi if was selling well, so why would all the marijuana growers discontinue Aurora Borealis? Someone get me High Times on the phone so I can consult them.
I’m also pretty confused about the cop. He ordered Turtle to throw the weed down the sewer, and Turtle really obviously placed it on something reachable. Was he not paying attention? I guess that’s TV for ya.
Other funny moments that I didn’t mention yet:
Best line of the episode: Ari to Mrs. Gold, "You left the show when you were 25 and now they shoot everything in high def."
Drama is really, really serious about keeping his secret steak ingredient a secret. I support that.
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