Incongruity: Both Porter children Kevin and Anne are purported to be direct offspring of their father Tom. However, Tom has curly hair while both children have straight hair.




Explanation: Since curly hair is a dominant gene and neither child inherited the trait, it can only be assumed that Tom's wife was a cheating slut and possibly had both children with another man or men [1]. This may explain her absence from the Porter family's trip through the back country. In all likelihood, Tom was taking his children on a car ride for the sole purpose of announcing that he and their mother were divorcing due to her infidelity.


The only other explanation for the curly hair discrepancy is that both Kevin and Anne are either foster or step-children. However, given that both were dressed in stylish clothes for that time (With Kevin once proclaiming that his red hoodie was "way wicked"), this is unlikely as most foster/step children are typically given no more than hand-me-downs for garb by their unnatural parents [2]. __________________________________________

Incongruity: In episode three, "Jungle Girl," Kevin Porter, a teenager, is introduced to Christi, a beautiful cave girl. Yet Kevin displays no typical signs of male teenage attraction towards the girl, nor makes any attempt to court her or get in her leopard skin despite the noticeable lack of male competition.

Explanation: There are three possibilities for this unusual behavior. Kevin is either homosexual, or was accidentally castrated as an infant during a routine circumcision, thus turning him into a eunuch. Or, the news of his parent's divorce and mother's infidelity forced him to suffer a mental construct that dictated that all females are cheating whores and therefore unworthy of receiving his seed [3].

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Incongruity: In the opening credits, you can clearly see all four wheels of the Porter's Jeep Cherokee trying to stop the vehicle from falling* into the fault line that has suddenly opened in the road and leads directly into a time portal.



Explanation: While the exact year of the Porter's Jeep is never explicitly given, based on its design it is reasonable to assume it is a late 80's or very early 90's model. Given that, the car should have been equipped with an anti-lock braking system (ABS) and thus been more than capable of preventing the Porter's from falling into the fault line. More than likely Tom Porter failed to brake the car in an adequate amount of time out of a subconscious desire to kill both himself and his family due to his impending divorce.

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Incongruity: The way in which the Jeep tumbles into the fault indicates that it would more than likely have landed on its roof, and thus probably killed all occupants inside in the ensuing crash (time portal or not). However, in the very next scene we see that the Porters are safely sitting upright in their Jeep.

Explanation: Either the time portal flipped the vehicle right side up itself using a form of magic, or the Jeep Corporation secretly installed some kind of Automatic Equilibrium technology in that particular model vehicle. Unicorn assistance is not wholly out of the question either [4].



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Incongruity: Shung's crystal sword is purported to wield telekinetic powers and the ability to control the minds of others, yet it does not seem to possess crystal properties.

Explanation: If Shung’s sword was truly a crystal, it would reflect light like an optical prism. But Shung's power "crystal" is opaque, which indicates that it is likely a complex silicate or simple salt compression. Either minerals are capable of conducting mystical power, but to what degree it is uncertain [5].



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Incongruity: The Porter's apparently had the tools, know-how, and materials with which to construct a giant tree house before succumbing to the ravages of their new lost world. However, in such an intense environment the young daughter Annie would have almost certainly proven nothing more than a useless burden and eventually would have been killed by dominant males Tom and Kevin. Why is she left alive?

Explanation: It can only be assumed that Annie was being kept alive purely for the future purpose of propagating the human species through an incestuous relationship with either her father or brother.



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Incongruity: The lyrics to the theme song contain the phrase, "But don't you turn your back, or you'll become a snack." This falsely implies that if you never turn your back to a carnivorous dinosaur, you will never be in danger.

Explanation: This is inaccurate as most scientists agree that dinosaurs probably did not have any preference about whether their prey faced forwards or backwards in regards to eating them or not. Moreover, if their fossilized skulls are any indication, most dinosaurs probably lacked the brain power to accurately determine the front or back side of a human being anyway [6].

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References

1 Dr. Ronald E. Johnson, The Curly Hair Conundrum, Signet Publishing, 1978.

2 Jim Bob Gulliver, How I Made a Fortune Off the Backs of My Small Army of Foster Children and You Can Too! Slack Jaw Printing, 2003.

3 ‘Yo Momma Sho’ Did a Number on You,’ Dr. Tanika Mason, Psychology Today Magazine, Vol 4, Issue 17, 2006.

4 Dale Carmella, Unicorns: Stealth Protectors or Divine Interlopers? Harvard Review Publishing, 1997.

5 Jeffrey O'Malley, How to Win Friends and Influence People…Through the Power of Crystals! Penguin USA, 1992.

6 Daniel Kingsolver, Most Dinosaurs Probably Lacked the Brain Power to Accurately Determine the Front or Back Side of a Human Being. Harper Press, 2005.