Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
The Way I Typically Imagine How Encounters with the Cute Waitress at My Local TGI Friday's Will Go
August 16, 2007
Order blooming onion with French dip.
Make hilarious comment to cute waitress about your anticipated bad breath.
Smirk sheepishly as cute waitress giggles at the self-deprecating humor of her new customer.
Order 5 Bud Lights for yourself and friends.
Follow up with fantastic, "Now that we've got
out of the way, what will the
of you be drinking?!" line.
Wait for universal laughter from friends; flirtatious,
This guy likes to party
glance from cute waitress.
Order Pizza Burger (Deluxe).
Wait for cute waitress to finish taking orders; shout "Spank you very much!" in
Graciously accept compliments on your uncanny Jim Carrey impersonation from friends; slip Sam Adams coaster with cute waitress's phone number into pocket. (
Order Reese's "Peanut Butter Cup Explosion Sunday" cake
When it arrives, smear dessert across face while shouting "Me like cakey! Me like cakey!"
Bask in uproarious, side-splitting laughter from friends while cute waitress discreetly rubs your erection through blue jeans.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.