…or at least seem to.


  • Picking the register with the shortest line, only to be stuck behind an Asian couple paying for a $150 dollar item with dollar bills
  • …or a white trash woman trying to pay with food stamps that neither her nor the fat, asthmatic, half-retarded 17-year-old girl working the register have any idea how to handle.
  • Getting the one Korean TA who can neither speak nor understand English… in a Communication class.
  • Sitting in the one desk that creaks or wobbles in every single classroom.
  • Waiting in line for 2 hours for the only semi-sanitary toilet on the 3rd day of a 3-day music festival, only to have it overflow and be closed when it is my turn.
  • Losing my ATM card, not realizing I left it in the machine at my bank, ordering another one (which I will receive in 2 weeks), and receiving my old one (which I can no longer use) in the mail the next day… twice.
  • Getting text messages from a wrong number who doesn't believe it's a wrong number no matter how many times I tell them. I'm not Cory, goddammit!
  • Writing 15 articles for CollegeHumor and having the 3 I thought were the worst make the front page (4 if this one makes it… it won't).