The Citizen Kane of recurring CollegeHumor columns.

Proper British Board Games
- Musn't Wake Father
- Guess Whom
- Balderdash!
I was waiting for the elevator the other day when I realized I forgot my phone on my desk. Just as I turned to get my phone, the door opened and there was a chink inside. I said, "I'll get the next one," and walked away. I must have looked like a total racist!"
21st Century Mental Disorders
- iTunes OCD
- Phantom cell phone rings
- Brain cancer
Prayers are like the Christian rock of poetry.
"Last night I was so drunk, I cooked and ate fried green tomatoes."
"Haha like you ate the movie?"
"No, man."
"Oh. So how'd it taste?"
"I dunno. It tasted like any book."
I like my women like I like my coffee, not wearing a shirt.
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