Set up: You and a female partner are playing beer pong against two dudes.

We've seen it happen all too many times and we all know how it ends. Unless you've found the perfect girl who's sick at beer pong (and there are the occasional few) you'll probably lose this match. If you do win however, and hold the table for a couple awesome games, you might end up putting your penie in her vagina.  That's right, I said vagina.

I've set up a mock scenario for your reading pleasure:


Evil:  Douchebag 1 / Douchebag 2

Good: Awesome Guy (You) / Dimples (Girl)

Douchebag 1 thinks he's God's gift to beerpong. He enjoys high fives a lot. He probably has a very small penis. Either that or his dad beat him unconscious when he was little. I heard he was adopted too. Did I mention he has red hair? Unfortunately he is pretty good at beerpong.  I hope his parents are divorced and unhappy.

Douchebag 2 can hit a cup from time to time. He gets lucky and hits a random cup by accident, probably not the one he was aiming for. He's the type of guy who, if he could, would bounce every turn. Douchebag 2's name is probably something like Chad or Wes, definitely one faggy syllable, symbolizing his short attention span and ugliness. How the world hates you, Douchebag 2.

Awesome Guy (You) is just playing for fun. He just wants a casual game with the girl, to show her he's cool and friendly, but can also win a solid game of pong. He usually hits cups, but not always. He's not a loser who practices in his room with tap water and Solos like Douchebag 2.

Dimples is cute to watch play. When she aims for the cup she closes one eye and bends her knees to shoot. It's really cute. You're with her because she's cute…her ginormous knockers are just a bonus!

As the game progresses you two slowly start to fall behind – and your female partner takes notice. This could turn ugly, almost as ugly as Douchebag 2's acne.

Fortunately, there's an answer to this horrible scenario – the Guy Code. The Guy Code is one of those sacred things that all men should follow. It's the glue that holds society together and allows people to live in harmony. The Guy Code is why Douchebag 1 and 2 have to throw the game. If Douchebag 1 and 2 any respect for the Code, they'll lose. If Wes wants to further the progress of his fellow man he will miss this next cup… He will MISS this next cup. God Damn you, Wes.

In conclusion, the Guy Code must be followed at all costs. If you see someone break this sacred code, punch him in his stupid acne-covered face and say something like "Not cool brah. That's so N.C.