Medellin sucks! I knew it! That’s great, because now I can feel good about hating on Billy Walsh every week in my column. It was certainly an interesting turn of events from what we’re used to. Everything didn’t just work itself out for the boys and end with everyone having sex. I’m really interested in what’s going to happen next. If Vince’s career is over the next season could be about the boys sharing a one-bedroom apartment in the Bronx together. E will be back to working in a pizzeria, Vince will be playing aquaman at kids’ parties and Turtle will be selling weed. That or they’ll be Drama’s entourage. Either way it’d be very, very entertaining.

This episode didn’t make a lot of sense to me. I understood the general “the boys are in Cannes, they try to sell the movie and it sucks” part, but there were a lot of random characters that confused me. I know we’ve seen Nicky before, but not for a while and I forgot who he was. Who was that weird guy from the United Arab Emirates that has an obscene amount of money and still listens to the macerana on his boat? That guy sure had a lot of hoes.

Put all that bullshit about money and movies aside, this episode was about one thing: love. Johnny Drama fell hopelessly in love with a (hot) French groupie. She told him she was huge fan of Viking Quest and sparks flew. When Drama complained about his room and got kicked out of the hotel I thought he lost her forever. What followed was a heartbreaking quest for Drama to reclaim the girl he loved. I didn’t think he’d ever find her when he was walking around with a cell phone camera picture of the two of them. I’m glad he did and had the opportunity to show his love for three hours on the beach in front of an audience.

The rest of the boys didn’t have as much fun this episode. It seems that Ari can’t get a break from work even when he’s on vacation. He’s always wheeling and dealing. Some of the shit he pulls …. wow. As hard as he tried, he was still only able to sell Medellin to Harvey Weinstein for $1. I know Harvey probably bought it because it was only $1, but I’d like to think it was because of that hug Ari gave him. Inside that harsh exterior Harvey is just a big angry teddy bear. If that is the case then a hug from Ari is only worth $1, and sad puppy dog eyes from Vince are worth $30 million. They should have stuck with Dana Gordon’s offer.

Other great moments
  • Random opening montage of the boys having a fun speedboat ride
  • Drama: “I’m an American citizen, you can’t treat me like this!”
  • Billy yelling at audience for not staying for the Medellin credits
  • Ari waking up at the end of Medellin: "It's brilliant."
  • E: It doesn’t bother you she wants to fuck you because you’re a celebrity?”
    Drama: “No. I love it.”