9:45 a.m. Enters bathroom. Looks in mirror. Flexes. Brushes teeth without toothbrush or toothpaste.
McConaughey: "Little lady, you still serving breakfast?"
Cashier: "No, we stop at 10:30."
McConaughey: "Well, it would be a lot cooler if you did."
Cashier: "Sir, you're going to have to put on a shirt."
McConaughey: (Doing squat thrusts on the counter) "That's what I love about my body, man. I get older, it stays the same age."
McConaughey: "Bring your crew. I'm going for a run on the beach with my shirt off."
Paparazzi: "Matt, we already did a four page spread last week of you running with your shirt off. It's old news."
McConaughey: "Didn't you ever see Edtv? The world can't get enough of me."
Paparazzi: "Jesus Matt! That wasn't real. It was a movie."
McConaughey: (Doing sit-ups in living room) "It wasn't a movie! It was my life!"
Spectator: "Holy sh*t, you're Matthew McConaughey. How the hell do you do that?"
McConaughey: (Waving his arms) "I see Angels. I see Angels in the Outfield. They give me special powers. You have to believe."
Spectator: (Laughing) "I totally forgot you were in that movie."
McConaughey: "I bet you didn't forget Danny Glover and Tony Danza were in it you bastard."
McConaughey: "This is John Anthony, the million dollar man with the billion dollar plan."
Bookie: "Matt, Two for the Money wasn't real. You're down $65,000. You need to stop."
McConaughey: "Show me the money. SHOW ME THE MONEY!"
Bookie: "You weren't even in that movie. Stop saying that."
McConaughey: "Put me down for five thousand. Hook 'em horns!"
4:01 p.m. (Flexing triceps in mirror) "WE ARE MARSHALL!"
Girlfriend: "Matt, we need to talk."
McConaughey: "About my chiseled six pack?"
Girlfriend: "No, I think we should see other people. You really creep me out. We're having a nice dinner and you're not wearing a shirt and you smell like you haven't showered in days. I'm sorry Matt."
McConaughey: (Doing leg raises on the dining room table) "I see what this is all about. You want to know How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days? I can respect that."
Girlfriend: (Screaming) "You're movies aren't real!" Whatever! I'm out of here. Goodbye Matthew."
9:00 p.m. Hops into bed. Opens up tabloid magazine to a picture of himself on the beach. Flexes stomach. "Alright, alright, alright. That's what I'm talking about."
9:25 p.m. Falls asleep shirtless.