I've decided to take it upon myself to clarify what some other men may be thinking when they hear some of the phrases coined in Lisa's article "Miss Interpretations." I am doing this because Jimmy recently posted a response to the same article, but I felt what he claimed the male was thinking, isn't at all what I would think and that there may be other men out there who also do not share Jimmy's thoughts.
She says: I'm fine.
Jimmy thinks: No you're not, you're a damn psycho.
I think: Awesome she's fine. Wait, when she says she's fine does that mean she's actually fine? Why do women have to be so confusing?
She says: I have cramps.
Jimmy thinks: There's some Midol in the bathroom are you a child?
I think: I am so glad I'm a guy.
He says: What do you want to do?
She says: I don't care.
Jimmy thinks: Sweet, I'm going out with some buddies.
I think: Sex?
He says: The L.A. Car Show is in town. I got us tickets for Saturday AND Sunday! I figured since I went to see that Jessica Alba movie with you, you'd want to do this with me.
She says: That's fine. We can do that.
Jimmy thinks: Finally, we can do something I enjoy!
I think: I wonder if she'd be willing to pose nude on one of the cars for me. I doubt it so there's really no point in going. Maybe she'll have sex with me instead.
He says: Anything.
She says: Really?
Jimmy thinks: Yes, you bitch, really.
I think: Within reason.
She says: Anything about how she controls the sex in this relationship.
Jimmy thinks: Tell that to the girl I slept with when you had "cramps" last week. And if you don't straighten up, I'm going to kick you right in those gigantic ovaries of yours!
I think: Why does she always have to bring that up as if I don't remember?