Now, I know what you're thinking, why would someone as successful and good looking as me risk it all for a chance to become California's State Controller? Running for office is always risky, especially when you have to run against a strong incumbent like John C. Is it because I have a strong sense of Civic Duty? Is it because I crave power, whatever the cost? Is it because I want to rule the eighth-largest economy in the world and make sure the state’s $100 billion budget is spent properly, while helping to administer more than $300 billion in state pension funds and serve on 76 state boards and commissions? No.

The answer is I want to kiss people's babies.

Plump babies, skinny babies, cute babies, babies with fetal alcohol syndrome, all of them! I can't help myself. At first I tried paying for it, but people seem to be less willing to accept the standard "kiss your baby for money" deal. when the idea struck me. Who gets to kiss all the babies they want? People running for State Controller. Vote for me.