Open with Vince and Ari and Lloyd and Turtle and Drama and that loser E at this restaurant, eating lunch. Drama and Turtle are talking about how Turtle is on a cold streak. Ari can say that Turtle is colder than something that is really cold in Hollywood right now — decide on this right before you shoot so it is up to date. Lloyd should be eating something gay, like sushi with chopsticks. Remember to have lots of hot girls walk by while the guys are talking. E should probably be silent during this part and should definitely not talk about his relationship with Sloan or any other lame stuff.

Then Ari changes the topic to the script he sent over to Vince the other day. Time for a joke. Have Ari say, “Harvey Weinstein loves it more than Lloyd loves the cock,” or “We have to get on this faster than Lloyd got on that guy from Will and Grace,” or “This is a great script and also Lloyd is a fag.” Gay jokes take a long time to get old so don’t worry if these sound a lot like ones Ari used before.

Drama and Turtle get bored and want to go smoke pot, but it turns out there is no pot in all of LA and they have to fly to my hometown (Lexington, MA) to find some. E shouldn’t come because he only takes away from their sweet adventures and also many of E’s subplots do not involve nudity. To keep the show realistic, you guys should research where you can actually buy pot in Lexington. Make sure you find out exactly where you have to go, and also any code words you may or may not have to use. When they finally get the pot, have Drama yell ‘Victory!’ while tears flow down his cheeks.

Then the guys fly back for a big cool party. This would be a good place for some guest appearances. I would recommend Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, and Hannah Montana. If you don’t know who those people are, Brady is the quarterback for the Pats with the sick arm, Peyton plays for the Colts and is a crybaby, and Hannah Montana is the hottest girl on TV. It may be tough to actually get Hannah Montana to come on the show, but there is this eighth grader at school who looks a lot like her. My friend Scott says he got a hand job from her on a field trip so maybe she will show her tits, but Scott is a big liar.

Anyway, Turtle and Peyton Manning get in a fight and Turtle kicks his ass. Peyton starts crying, then his boyfriend comes over to comfort him. Oh yeah, I left out that Peyton Manning is dating Lloyd. Make sure you get some good pictures of them making out together to show on the Jumbotron next times the Pats are playing the Colts. Don’t put those anywhere I would see them though. Tom Brady leaves the party with Hannah Montana, and Vince and the boys leave with tons of hot models.

Cut to Vince doing this really hot blonde in a back room. No, two really hot blondes. They are making out hardcore while he does them. Make sure you can’t see his dick or anything. That would be gross. Pan over to Drama doing a chick from behind. She has awesome fake titties that bounce a lot and she is not wearing a lame rabbit suit so this time you can definitely see them. Have Drama yell ‘Victory!’ again. Make this part in slow motion. Actually, don’t bother. My TiVo has slow motion. Cut to Turtle doing a fat chick. Make sure to pause for laughs.

Once that’s done, the episode should end with them driving over to pitch the new project to Billy. Billy should be up to something crazy these days, like maybe directing pornos. Actually, that would be ridiculous, forget it.