Playboy is the poor man's… Sex
The Wall Street Journal is the poor man's… Bedding

Nothing
is the poor man's… Toilet paper
Just not being able to find bread is the poor man's… Atkins
Running from the
police
is the poor man's… Workout program
McDonald's is the poor man's… Morton's
Vodka is the poor man's… Dasani
Rotating layers
of clothing
is the poor man's… Shower
Fire hydrant that
has vague feminine
features
is the poor man's… Girlfriend
Luck is the poor man's…
Dog
Having a crappy day is the poor man's…
Having a regular day