What sport are you going to play? Basketball (0 points) Flag Football (1 point) Volleyball (2 points) Water Polo (3 points)
What's your team name? Something unoriginal, like Team Ramrod (0 points) Something boring, like Team Phi Kappa Psi (1 point) Something sort of clever-ish, like Off Constantly, so other teams can beat Off Constantly. Get it? (2 points) Something awesome, like The Super-Duper Ultra Mega Cool Awesome Funky Mondo Radical Cool Team 4,000,000,000 to the Max (3 points)
How do your team members prepare for a game? Stretching and warm-up jumping jacks (0 points) Watching Rocky (1 point) Drinking and yelling (2 points) Getting high and watching the whole Mighty Ducks trilogy (3 points)
Describe your team uniform: Professionally made matching t-shirts (0 points) Movement clothes, like mesh shorts and sneakers (1 point) Whatever we show up in (2 points) Tuxedos, monocles and fake mustaches (3 points)
How athletic are your teammates? They spend all of their time in the gym (0 points) They're reasonably fit (1 point) They're pretty average (2 points) One guy once ate 100 chicken nuggets in 10 minutes (3 points)
How does your team celebrate after a game? Protein bars and smoothies (0 points) High-fives and pizza (1 points) Drinking and yelling (2 points) Getting high and going to bed (3 points)
Why does your team generally pick fights with the referee? "He was off-sides, are you blind?" (0 points) "The ball was clearly in" (1 point) "What do you mean that was a foul?" (2 points) Just for fun (3 points)
How many girls are on your team? Zero(0 points) One (1 point) Two (2 points) More than two (3 points)
You scored: points
0 8 Points: All the hard work, skipped classes and neglected girlfriends are going to pay off; your team is going to win the championship! If you're not kicked out of school for failing too many classes you can do it again next semester! Somewhere down the road a career as an American Gladiator awaits you.
9 16 Points: Only one team can go home at the end of the season knowing that they were the best. It will not be your team. You're not going to take home any championship t-shirts this season, but you won't come in last either. Odds are you'll win a couple games and lose a couple, too. Congratulations on being average.
17 24 Points: Man, these sports sure seemed a lot easier on X-Box 360, didn't they. Running is hard in real life, and if you eat Cheetos while you play you get cramps. That's stupid. Your team is going to lose every game because you're all fat, out of shape and you always show up high. Your team will have the most fun too, so there's nothing wrong with that.